The Candy Crush Saga Killer strikes again!
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Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin
Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin embarks on a 31-city nationwide school tour to spread his word about the dangers and consequences of masturbation, click here.
The reason for the Super Bowl blackout has been confirmed
SMG says Super Bowl blackout was prank played by employee. Click here to learn more.
Bill Murray stops another marriage from happening
Bill Murray stories on Super Official News:
> Bill Murray Performs Heimlich Maneuver, Saves Choking Man At Lunch
> Bill Murray Catches Bank Robber In Tokyo, Accidentally
> Bill Murray Announces Party Crashing Tour
> Confirmed: Bill Murray’s Agent Will Be Attending Party In Phoenix On August 1st
> Bill Murray Shows Up In Phoenix: Kicks Off Party Crashing Tour With A Bang
> Bill Murray Signs On For Ghostbusters 3
> About: Bill Murray Signs On For Ghostbusters 3
Welcome aboard our newest member to the Super Official Action News Team!
His name is Blaine Anderson. He’s been a journalist with The New York Times for the last 28 years. We are extremely happy to have him as part of our Super Official News team. He did have some catnip show up in his drug test before hiring, but we let it slide. Go get em’ Blaine Anderson!
Am I gay now or just extremely observant?
Sh*t Just Got Real With Hurricane Sandy!
Read about this story >> HERE
Mitt Romney Does ‘Blackface’ On BET
Read about this story >> HERE
The Prophet Muhammad Returns: Addresses All The Bullsh*t That’s Been Happening
Read about this story >> HERE
‘The X Factor’ 43-story tall marble statue was unveiled today in Times Square featuring the likenesses of Demi Lovato, Britney Spears and Simon Cowell
Read about this story >> HERE
This War On Religion Must Stop!
RELATED NEWS >> Mitt Romney leaving the Mormon Religion for Christianity
Coming Soon To A Courthouse Near You!
Read full article >> HERE
Bill Murray Shows Up In Phoenix: Kicks Off Party Crashing Tour With A Bang
Read full article >> HERE
In anticipation of Bill Murray’s Party Crashing Tour that begins August 1st, ‘BILL MURRAY CAN CRASH HERE’ signs have already started going up all around the country
Read full article >> HERE
Some Artwork Of Mine
9Gag vs Reddit vs 4Chan
A typical user from 9Gag posting their concerns about the recent attacks by Reddit. 9Gag just announced a 50 million dollar lawsuit against Reddit for libel and damages.
Here is Jay B Fail’s 9Gag image of his cat Blaine Anderson. I think everyone here can agree it’s just as hilarious as he claims it to be. Too bad Reddit has to be such bullies on the internet and hurt everyone’s feelings.
Read full article >> HERE
Hipster Hannibal Lecter
New zombie attack in Louisiana from bath salts initially kills 7 people, then the town is nuked. Government officials say the town is better off now.
Read full article here
Horner Airlines And Mitt Romney’s “Work To Fly” Program Is A Huge Success!
Horner Airlines is proud to announce that it has teamed up with presidential hopeful Mitt Romney in a first of its kind ‘Work to Fly’ program. Paul Horner, president of Horner Airlines, said the program will essentially allow people to fly for free as long as they put in a few days of manual labor for Mitt Romney.
Ben Thomas, a spokesman for Horner Airlines said, “In this tough economic climate, people want to travel but just can’t afford to. Now thanks to Mitt Romney and our ‘Work to Fly’ program they can. Mitt Romney is making dreams come true.”
Read full article >> HERE
The $640 Million Mega Millions Winner Is Kind Of A Dick
The winner of the Mega Million’s world record $640 million jackpot, who’s kind of a dick, holding up the winning ticket for gaming officials March 30, 2012. Winning numbers in Friday’s drawing were: 2-4-23-38-46 and the Mega Ball was 23.
Read full article >> HERE
My Friend Jay B. Fail Dressed As A Robot For Halloween And I As Hunter S. Thompson
Blaine Anderson is so cute!