Analysts Forecast Drop In Holiday Spending As More Families Rely On Presents From Santa Claus

Times are tight for most families. It seems everyone is struggling in one way or another just to get by. So here is a helpful tool to save a little hard-earned scratch this upcoming Christmas; Santa Claus! More and more parents are relying on the fat man in red than ever before. So go on, wish for the stars!*

family guy
“I gave Santa and the whole Christmas experience last year two thumbs down. He didn’t bring my family even one present. We wrote letters to him all year long explaining in complete detail what we wanted. We sang songs, put cookies out, the whole works! This year better be good or he can expect a pretty negative review on Yelp.”

– Dave Besner
Los Angeles, CA

Isn’t there a song about him watching us all the time? Is he watching me right now? Does he know I’m doing this interview?!!”

– Emily Erickson
Phoenix, AZ

“Last year he didn’t even take the time to put coal in our stockings. If Santa would just tell me what the problem is I could fix it. Is it the wife? Is it my soulless ginger of a kid? Just say the word and they’re gone.”

– Gene Tombler
Apple Valley, MN

* Terms and conditions may apply. Santa Claus does not exist.

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