Facebook To Begin Charging Members $1.99/mo Starting In June

Facebook monthly fee of $1.99/mo to begin in JuneFacebook will begin charging its users $1.99/mo starting June 1st. The change takes place after Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg held a press conference today announcing the news.

“This is something that must be done,” Zuckerberg told reporters.

If you cannot afford the monthly fee, in a new status update, copy and paste the words, ‘I LOVE FACEBOOK AND I AM POOR SO PLEASE WAIVE MY MONTHLY FEE’. You must also include the hashtag #ILoveFacebookAndIAmPoor.

Will this be a good or bad thing for Facebook? Time will only tell.

President Obama To Raise Minimum Wage To $25/hr

Beginning in June President Obama will sign an executive order to raise the minimum wage to $25/hr. Some individuals agree with this and some do not.

Obama said this is thing that must be done to help the economy and lower the national debt.

Rand Paul says he does not agree with the decision made by Obama.

“This is the worse thing possible for this country,” Paul said. “Call your senators and congressmen. You must demand action before this goes into effect in June.”

Parental Consent Form Required To Use Facebook For All Minors Beginning In June

Beginning June 1st, Facebook will require signed parental consent forms for any users under the age of 18. Those under the age of 18 will begin to receive consent forms in their Facebook inbox as soon as May 1st. To receive your form early, you can click this link here provided or call the 24-hour Facebook parental consent hotline at (785) 273-0325.

Official Facebook Parental Consent Form:
Facebook parental consent form

Please share this with anyone under the age of 18. Their life may just depend on it.

Obama: New Bimonthly Church Services Starting May 1st, “Americans Work Harder When They Pray Less”

Washington, DC — At a press conference today, President Barack Obama announced he would be implementing a new law changing the current monthly 4-Week church services down to 2 times a month. Obama says during these rough economic times it crucial to take drastic measures so Americans can work work harder and pray less. These effects are to take place May 1st of this year and analyst expect this move to increase the economy by more than 40%.President Obama told CNN the reason for the changes.

“Americans tend to work hard and pray harder. I’m asking them to make these changes for the good of the country during these hard times,” Obama said. “If things don’t work out within 6 months we can always switch back to the old way, but for now, lets give this a solid shot and see where it takes us.” Obama says during these times it is crucial to take drastic measures so Americans can work work harder and pray less. There will be no hoarding and what a gallon of milk will cost you today will cost you a gallon of milk in 6 months. These are crucial times my friends and we must stick together as a county if we are going to succeed.”

36-year-old Paul Horner from Phoenix, Arizona told MSNCB he is not effected by Obama’s changes.

“I don’t even go to church, I think it’s for suckers,” said Horner. “A mystery man in the sky telling you what and what not to do; anyone that believes that is batsh*t and needs to get their head examined. Personally I enjoy my Sunday watching Football or mowing the lawn,” Horner said, “My wife yells at me for not gong to church and says I set a bad example for the children, but what does she know, she’s a woman who believes in a talking man in the sky.”

Obama finished the press conference by saying we must all unite or chaos and anarchy could happen.

“I’m implementing nationwide 10PM curfew for now on to protect our citizens and our streets.” Obama said. “This is not a police state, this is to safeguard the people of this great country and financially bring it back to what it once was.”

If you have any questions about President Obama’s new 2-week church schedule that will be taking place May 1st a hotline has been setup to answer all your questions at (785) 273-0325.

VIDEO: Obama Implements New Bimonthly Church Services May 1st

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About the author

Michael Davies

Reporting on all things fun and exciting! Michael Davies has won many awards including a Peabody and Pulitzer Prize, but says his proudest achievement in life is his 8-year-old girl name Heather.

3 Comments

  • This is bullshit! Just because Obama says I can’t go to church, well guess what buddy, I’m going to church!

  • Obama is always pulling some kind of nonsense…. taking away are freedom of speech and now our ability to go to church…. it’s for an uprising in this country!

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