How to Write a College Essay

How to write a college essay
A college essay is a personal composition written by college applicants that helps the admission officers to handpick the most befitting students for admission. Many college institutions require applicants to prepare college application essays to accompany their application forms. Admission officers look for unique personality traits, in every college application essay they go through, to establish who should join their institution.  The admission officers relied on the college essays since test scores, and grades of the applicants may not form the ultimate criteria for filtering applicants.

A college entrance essay needs to be concise, clear and assertive to ensure it portrays the intended picture of the applicant, that’s why students sometimes use custom writing services like essayzoo to get help with writing. As a student, you ought to ensure that the college entrance essay sets you apart from the other applicants so as to stand a chance to land an admission. The purpose of a college essay is to find the most desired traits other than grades and test scores needed by the college from its new applicants. A good college essay must show your unique qualities. In this article, important college essay tips are illustrated and discussed in detail.

Topic choice

There are myriad of college essay topics from which a student can use to practice writing college essays. A student should be driven by the passion to write on any topic that resonates well with his/her personality. For any college application essay, the format is dependent on the topic or the content of the essay. Here below are some practice college essay prompts and topics for college essays students can use to improve their essay skillset.

  1. Describe a person you admire
  2. Why do you want to join our college?
  3. Describe your biggest achievement yet
  4. Describe an experience you were unsuccessful in achieving your goals
  5. Describe an experience that changed your life
  6. Why do you think you want to spend the next four years in this college?
  7. Why should this college consider your application?
  8. Describe a literary piece that inspires you
  9. What is your strongest motivation for work?
  10. Describe an event in your life you would wish you could go back and change if any
  11. What are your plans during and after college?
  12. Describe your unique skill or talent
  13. What is your biggest failure yet?
  14. Describe a funny story you keep telling your friends or family members and why you think it keeps coming up
  15. What do you love most and why do you love it?

The aforementioned college essay topics can help students to sharpen their college essay writing skills. More good topics for college essay can be found on the Internet, books, media, etc. A good student is open to college essay ideas which are very instrumental in building their college writing skills.

Essay structure

The structure of a college essay must be adhered to ensure the essay communicates the intended message. The outline for a college essay is very important in guiding how to write the essay. Whenever the author encounters a major problem, the outline for college essay acts as the guidebook. The outline maps out your ideas before putting them down, thus avoid possible confusion during the preparation of the final article. Before you write a college essay, you need to plan on what to include or exclude in your essay. The draft is a necessary guideline to writing a great essay. When writing a college admission essay, the applicant ought to organize his /her thoughts and ideas in a logical and coherent way. Avoid clichés or any other unnecessary filler materials when writing a college admission essay. A draft is necessary before you write a college essay to avoid such mishaps.

An example of an outline using 5-paragraph essay format:

What do you plan to do after you graduate from college?

  1. Introduction
  2. Background information: I was born and raised in Harlem, where I lived with my single mother.
  3. Thesis statement: The thought of graduating from college makes me enthusiastic and expectant to go out to practice entrepreneurship and partly indulge in community service.
  4. Body paragraphs
  5. Paragraph 1:

Hook: Growing up in dilapidated condition on the outskirts of Manhattan shaped my world and influenced my perception about humanity.

Other supporting sentences

  1. Paragraph 2

Hook: My interest in business came when I was in 7th grade in Greenfield Elementary school.

Other supporting sentences

  • Paragraph 3

Hook: The people and experiences I have gone through have shaped my vision for the future.

Other supporting sentences

  1. Conclusion

Concisely, am looking forward to clearing college and setting out there to actualize my dreams.

Other concluding sentences

Tips concerning introduction writing

How to start a college essay is a critical step that must be well articulated to capture the attention of the reader.

  1. Use a hook to capture the attention of the reader
  2. The introduction for college essay must create a smooth transition to the subsequent paragraph without losing the interest of the reader.
  3. It must have a thesis statement
  4. The thesis statement should not be buried deep into the introduction
  5. The topic sentence of the introduction must be captivating

Tips on thesis writing

The thesis statement must be featured in the introduction to hint the reader on what to expect in the essay.

  1. The thesis statement should be clear and very specific while avoiding filler or vague words.
  2. The thesis statement does not need to come late in your essay as it is likely by then the reader might not see it.
  3. The thesis statement should be connected to the topic of the essay
  4. Avoid general thesis statement
  5. Indicate where the thesis starts using phrases like; In this paper…….

Tips on body paragraphs

  1. The body paragraphs do not necessarily need to be long, but each must communicate a different idea.
  2. Each body paragraph must create a smooth transition to the next paragraph to ensure the reader’s attention is not lost.
  3. College essay body paragraphs must have hooks must be well articulated to capture the attention of the reader.
  4. For each paragraph, a lead sentence is necessary, followed by several sentences supporting the lead sentence.
  5. Avoid mixing points in a single paragraph.
  6. A coherent and logical flow of ideas throughout the essay is critical for writing a college essay.

Tips on conclusion writing

It is also important to understand how to finish a college essay in a great style that summarizes the contents of the essay.

  1. The conclusion should sum up the contents of the essay
  2. The conclusion should refer to contents previously written in the essay
  3. The conclusion of a definition essay can also reassert the thesis statement.
  4. The conclusion should also be short and made up of a few sentences.
  5. Include a short summary of each key point used in the essay

Sources for essay choice

Sources for the essay can be books, documented events, the internet, media, etc. Such sources must be referenced using the most appropriate referencing style or any recommended style. A bibliographic information page must be attached at the end of the essay for further reference on any material used in preparing the essay. Any material used in preparing the essay must be acknowledged and indicated in the list. Any unacknowledged source amounts to plagiarism and it is likely to cost an applicant the admission if found committing it. The internet, library, media, documented books, peer reviewed articles, publications all qualify to be sources for a college essay.

Finalizing essay

A revision is a critical process in writing a college essay. It is advisable that after writing the essay to allow it to be read by other people to help you with the revision. Peer review of the essay can bring fresh ideas and help to correct possible errors that might have escaped the scrutiny of the author. Essay proofreading might also expose possible errors that could be spotted by the admission officers and deny you admission.

Make citations

Making citations also must be consistent with the sources used while writing the essay. The citations must be credible and relevant to the topic of the essay. It is also important to ensure all citations adhere to standard rules to avoid possible misunderstandings that might cost you an admission chance.

Concisely, it is important to understand how to write a college essay as it is likely the only thing that can stand between you and your dream college admission. This article has expounded on some of the best practices and tips for writing a great college essay.

 

How to deal with Assignments

assignment\
Making homework is an important consideration that one must have to accomplish. For this reason, assignment must have a credible source for the students to improve their home work’s credibility to their teachers or professors. Dealing with assignments are sometimes challenging because you have to ensure that you are following the instruction before submitting the whole paper to the subject. As a student, finding the right way to improve the reliability of the assignment enhances interesting points that can be incorporated with the subject matter. This is why there are journals available online to provide students an outlet to have a reference to support their claims. This paper aims to discuss the significance of sites that deal with assignments. It seeks to find out sites that provides helpful applications for students who wants to claim high grades.

Sites to deal with assignments are reputable websites so that it will help students to correspond their arguments from reliable websites that contains fruitful information. Journals websites provides essential information for the students to use it as their reference to improve the judgment of their assignments. For this reason, students can be able to discuss and expound their answers while taking time to accomplish the requirements by their respective instructors. Journals are set of researched materials by various authors from different varieties of discipline to allow other researchers to have a reliable source of information to support their argument. Each journal has their respective volumes and numbers as based from category, date of publication, and the field of study. As a result, journal’s increase the probability of the students to garner a high score to their subject matter.

Official news websites are regarded as important for the reason that they provide fresh information in order to stimulate the inquisitive minds of the audience. There are both local and international news networks that regularly update their websites by installing new applications that enable individuals to become aware about the recent events that are happening across the community. News websites can be accessed directly through their main webpages for as long as there is an internet connection through the internet. Websites can also be accessed through social media websites where they post their articles and other relevant reading materials for the students to take their assignments. The names of the news reporters responsible for reporting the article or the story can be used as the main source of information that will be included into the reference page of the assignment.

Other than news websites, Google books from reputable sources are recommended for the students who are looking for reputable sources. Google books contain actual authors who published their write-ups online so that they can share essential information for their readers. This is acceptable to various academic institutions for the reason that the source taken from Google books came from sources that presents an actual discussion that is relevant to the assignment. The content shown from this online source is presenting the actual page that states an argument that is relevant to the main subject of discussion, which could be cited from the assignment of the student. In this case, the student will not be at risk for being ethically or criminally from any violations such as plagiarism, which is a serious offense that might cause the enrollment contract of the student to be deferred.

It is important to know the sites that should not deal with students when accomplishing their projects that do not come from a reputable source. There are blog sites that provide essential information; however, the credibility of the source is not acceptable because it is written by an unknown author. The anonymity of the blogs is sometimes not recommended by academic institutions because the contents are just made up of pure analysis or personal reflections without crediting sources of their main argument. Forums are not recommended to be used to deal with making assignments because all information does not come from a reputable websites that makes the forum ineligible to be used as an important source of information. Sources from social media websites are prohibited because there are manipulative contents created by anonymous users that distort the real essence of the source. Phrases and implied ideas by social media users are not recommended to be used as sources because there are no credibility as well as reliability to support claims online.

The realization of using reputable websites for students are journals, news articles, and Google Books that outsources published materials to help improve the credibility of assignments by sourcing it. As a student, it is important to consider your discipline for being dedicated to accomplish any academic requirements without using sources that does not support the claims of the discussion. Assignments are critical for weighing the percentage of class standing for each student who wants to improve their academic performance. Being responsible for passing assignments that contains high-quality materials are important to prevent being involved in ethical related misconduct that could cost you your academic degree.

Academic ghostwriting, what is it?

ghostwriting

Are you fond of procrastination due to too much assignment within a restricted time allocation? Worry no more, essay writers come for your assistance through academic ghostwriting. The writers can successfully deliver your research papers, assignments, essays, proofread your work as well as work on your dissertations. The ghostwriters virtually exist from students, writers, professors, and editors. Thus, one need not worry about the quality of work to be submitted. Therefore, academic ghostwriting is a segment of the academic community that provides information to students especially those who perceive themselves to be average or below average.

Academic ghostwriting can be viewed as a business whereby a student request for assistance in writing skills, proper ways of essay presentation and research work, especially in academic fields. On the other hand, the virtual writer is paid for the services that he has provided, and the student takes the ownership of the completed essay or paper. However, this might not be the case for other students who have genuine weakness in different areas such as a poor command in English. Besides, presenting a separate argument concerning a topic is usually challenging to other students since they do not have the required writing skills. Therefore, they seek assistance for ghostwriters with proper ghostwriting skill to deliver a unique essay with an excellent. Consequently, these students can learn a lot of information from such samples to polish their languages. Besides, students who seek the assistance in ghostwriting have been noting tremendous improvements since they delve a lot with the virtual writers who coach them through virtual communication and ensure that they dedicate a lot of time on the projects to be successful. Open dialogue with ghost writers enables such students to improve their research skills, speeches. Besides, the students feel confidence due to improvement based on constant practice. However, the aspect of business comes in due to the compensation of the time that the ghostwriter takes to coach the student.

On a separate note, ghostwriting is a way that student use to access vast sources of information for their literature within the shortest timeframe rather. The writers who engage in the provision of information about a topic do extra research on the questions and instructions that are required concerning the topic. Thus, this service is about precision as well as the ability to elaborate on different facts and presenting them in a better and understandable format or language with the same original information and content on the topic. By taking the time to provide information sources with varieties of opinions, the student will be well equipped to present his topic based on the evidence availed from the internet, books as well as articles on the current affairs that the student might not be conversant with.

Students who seek assistance from ghostwriting have better approaches to research papers. The students normally develop a more focused paper that is not generalized since they can uncover the general concepts of papers to accurate information hence reveal the meaning of the topic and issues found. Besides, ghostwriting help, these students maneuver outside the official library scope to online databases such as the Questia library. The students under the guidance of ghostwriters can explore many possibilities hence students find research activities quite engaging and interesting. Thus, it is beneficial if students hire academic ghostwriters with the aim of aiding them in the process of learning which gives them an edge over their colleagues.

Some students have tainted the name of ghostwriting. These are lazy students who lack the motivation to work hard and have no interest to work on their assignments. Thus, they engage in academic immorality. Instead of these students utilizing the ghostwriting services to minimize the effort as well as improving their skills for better grades, they use the avenue to pass their academic work with minimal resistance hence they higher crooked writers to deliver them everything in their academic activities then get the overall grades that they do not deserve. This is unethical in the academic field, and such students are normally identified by their tutors who normally know their capabilities.

Lastly, it is important to understand the people who work behind the scene in ghostwriting. These people are typically referred to ghostwriters or shadow scholar. Ghostwriters normally possess the skills in writing as well as the ways through which different academic papers can be broken down and simplified for better understanding. The ghostwriters can handle any academic paper, speeches and book reviews among others. In most cases, the ghostwriters hold bachelor’s degree, master’s degree, doctorate or even Ph.D. hence they are hired by students to give them directions on how to tackle any questions related to the academic work or essays among others. Therefore, accessing the assistance of such experts can only be achieved when students visit essay writer sites.

DRUGS IN COLORADO: New Deadly Strain Of Marijuana Turning Users Gay

Just when you thought the drug problem in Colorado could not get any worse, law enforcement officials are now reporting incidents of marijuana users turning gay.



“We’ve never seen anything like this,” said Dr. Paul Horner of the Barrow Neurological Institute. “The drug users in Colorado are injecting a strain of marijuana that changes the chemical makeup in the brain. The drug effects the receptors that controls your like or dislike of the opposite sex.”



Tom Downey, the chief of operations at the DEA, told CNN that marijuana related problems in Colorado have quadrupled since the legalization of the drug. “I have to say this…going down the path to legalization in this country is reckless and irresponsible,” he said. “I’m talking about the long term impact of legalization in the United States. It scares us. And now that kids are turning gay from the drug, how much longer do politicians need to keep this deadly experiment going?”

John Winger from Denver told reporters about his experience using the drug. “Right after I injected the pot I knew something was wrong,” Winger said. “My male friend, who I don’t even really like, we were so high from this stuff, we started making out and giving each other HJ’s. I used to like girls, seriously. I wish I would have never tried drugs.”

“We don’t have a name yet for this new strain of gay marijuana,” Downey said. “I urge the great people of Colorado to be on the lookout for addicts, the sharing of pot needles and gay stoners. These potheads don’t care if they turn gay or not, all they care about is getting their next fix.”

The DEA is urging residents who have information about this homosex strain of marijuana to call the Denver Police Department at (785) 273-0325. As always, you can remain anonymous.





First Ever Head Transplant Is a Success

Doctors in Africa are reporting that a 36-year-old man has made an 80% recovery after receiving the first ever head transplant.

Horner, whose body was riddled with bone cancer, received the donor body from a 21-year-old man who has been brain dead from a car accident back in 2012.

Doctors are excited about the surgery and expect Horner to make a full recovery within one year.

One of the doctors that performed the surgery told reporters, “After the success of this surgery, the possibilities to saving and improving lives are infinite.”

Governor Jan Brewer Pardons Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin For Masturbating In Public

Jan Brewer pardons Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin AKA Paul Horner

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer seen here making the pardon for Paul Horner AKA Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin official / Photo courtesy of PhotosByJoseMunoz.com

Phoenix, AZ — Arizona Governor Jan Brewer announced her controversial decision today granting a full pardon to 35-year-old Phoenix resident Paul Horner, known to his thousands of followers as Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin. Horner made world news last month after his ironic arrest for public masturbation.

“I did a lot of soul searching before making this decision,” Brewer told CNN. “We all make mistakes in life. When it comes down to it, we must ask ourselves, would a person like Mr. Horner be better for society locked up behind bars or outside helping the children of this great country learn about the dangers of masturbation? I think the question answers itself.”

Horner, who was arrested last month outside Metta Yoga in Phoenix after employees notified police about a man with no pants on peering through office windows, said he is thrilled with the governor’s decision. “This makes Fappy® very happy,” Horner told reporters. “To be honest I would have been fine either way, in jail, out of jail, it doesn’t matter; my message always stays the same. The prisons in Arizona are just a hotbed of self-rape, that I had planned to fix. Maybe I’ll get a chance to do this the next time I get arrested.” Horner continued, “Thank you Jan Brewer, you are now a member of team Fappy® and we’re glad to have you!”

Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of Stop Masturbation Now spoke with reporters about the future of the organization after this recent setback. “Thanks to your tax dollars, Fappy® has helped tens of thousands of adults and children learn about living a masturbation-free lifestyle. During all his years of visiting schools around the world, Fappy® has collected thousands of signatures from children promising never to masturbate; he has done great things,” Childs said. “It’s a shame how the media had portrayed Fappy® after the arrest. Paul Horner is a great man. He is passionate about his work, he loves being Fappy®, he loves the kids. They even have a nickname for him, they call him the tickle monster. That all could have been ruined by some trumped-up charges by the Phoenix five-oh. Arizonans are lucky to have such a fine governor like Brewer, one who steps in like that to help those who are really in need. She’s a magical woman and loves everyone, of course except the blacks, Mexicans and the gays. Praise Jan Brewer! Praise Fappy®!”

Many governors are reluctant to grant pardons. The reason, according to analysts, is mostly political. Statistically, if you are convicted of a felony in Arizona, you are more likely to be struck by lightning than granted clemency by the governor. Excluding the cases of inmates nearing the end of a terminal illness, Brewer is on track to grant the fewest clemency cases in more than two decades — even when a judge and unanimous board recommend a shorter sentence. What made the governor have a change of heart with Fappy®, one may never know.

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and Stop Masturbation Now are federally funded programs designed to teach both children and adults about the dangers and consequences of masturbation. For more information or if you would like the group to visit your child’s school call (785) 273-0325.

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India Ends Diplomatic Relations With The U.S. Over Satirical Article

Rape Festival in India

Image of the Assam Rape Festival news article on the National Report website.

Assam, INDIA — People in India are outraged by a satirical article that appeared on an American website reporting a rape festival taking place in India’s northeastern state of Assam. “We rape the evil demons out of the girls, otherwise they will cheat on us and we will be forced to kill them. So it is a win-win for everyone,” says the article published by the National Report.

Daarun Gupta who is the Assistant Commissioner of the Assam Police CID’s cyber crime cell told reporters the Indian Government has taken up a sue moto case holding the National Report and the author of the story accountable.

“It is a sensitive issue that clearly violates India’s cyber crime statutes and we have taken up the matter with the public prosecutor in New Delhi,” Gupta said. “We have requested an arrest warrant for the author and are asking the United States Government for extradition rights so that he may be prosecuted to the fullest extent of India law.” Gupta continued, “We are working around the clock with our top government officials, police agencies and lawyers to makes sure all parties are held accountable. This injustice will not go unpunished.”
Dr. Manmohan Singh who is the Prime Minister of India on Twitter posting about the Rape Festival
Today Dr. Manmohan Singh who is the Prime Minister of India held a press conference to address the issue. “This defiant act against the great people of India will not be tolerated, America has gone too far this time. This rape festival story is not funny whatsoever. The country of India is ending it’s diplomatic relations with the United States until we have received a sincere apology from President Barack Obama. The sacred country of India demands satisfaction!”

The National Report who published the article said the story was meant to highlight the very serious issue of rape in India while at the same time raising money for the woman of India through a charity called Give India, which is listed at the bottom of the article. While the story has led to all kinds of threats of violence and criminal/legal action against the author and site owner, one group from India returened the favor by publishing a story about America titled, “The Great American Mass Shooting Festival Begins Next Week” which has since gone viral.

Since the article appeared on the National Report website, GiveIndia.org who is the charity promoted at the bottom of the article has received over 2,000 unique visitors. The charity gives 90% – 95% of the money that is donated directly to the cause of helping women in India. This money provides them with proper education, shelter, food, help in getting out of abusive relationships, rape counseling and much more. GiveIndia.org is in no way associated with or responsible for the story or the views expressed in it.


34-year-old Jimmy Rustling from Phoenix, Arizona who is the author of the article told CNN the story was meant to raise awareness about the serious issue of rape in India while raising money for the woman that live there. “My story is an exaggeration of the truth. Most woman in India can’t get help or contact the police. If they get raped it shames their family, or the court finds that it was their fault because of the way they dressed, or they don’t believe in god hard enough, or there wasn’t enough witnesses, or they get stoned to death by reporting the rape, the list goes on and on. I can only imagine how many reported rapes there would actually be in India if they treated woman like human beings, having the same rights as men, instead of objects that are married slaves. Hopefully my article is a wake-up call to them. Get tough on rape India, stop allowing men to do this, this is what most of the world thinks of you. There could never be a “Dallas Rape Festival”, that would make no sense. Yes, there is rape that happens in the city of Dallas, but are they known for that? Of course not. It wouldn’t make any sense.” Rustling continues, “We only approved comments that believed the hoax. That was only 50 comments out of 10,000 or more. It’s my story and I feel the comments add to it. You can’t just ruin it for everybody by letting them know it’s a hoax. Also, I wrote at least 25 out of those 50 comments just to get things going. So that leaves just 25 comments by really stupid people. Watch out when you’re walking in a cross walk or on the street, basically whenever you’re outside your house. You never know who you will run into or how low their IQ will be.”

The “India Rape Festival” was posted on November 2nd and went viral with various social media outlets. As of today the story has over four hundred shares on Facebook. Mr. Rustling went into hiding early Friday morning fearing for his life but not before stating, “Can’t we all just get along?”

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WANT TO HELP THE WOMEN IN INDIA? THEN DO SOMETHING!

Giveindia.org gives 90%-95% of the money that you donate directly to the cause of helping women in India. This money provides them with proper education, shelter, food, help in getting out of abusive relationships, rape counseling and much more! NOTE: GiveIndia.org is in no way associated with or responsible for this article or the views expressed in it.

Click here to donate

Funny news

UPDATE 11/9/13: Woman of India, it’s your fault.

UPDATE 11/13/13:
Top India police official says, “If you can’t prevent rape, you enjoy it.”


Obama Uses Own Money To Open Muslim Museum Amid Government Shutdown

Obama uses own money to open the International Museum of Muslim Cultures in Jackson, Mississippi

The International Museum of Muslim Cultures in Jackson, Mississippi.

Washington, DC — While up to 800,000 federal workers faced life without a paycheck as Day One of the government shutdown kicked in, President Barack Obama held a press conference to announce that he is using his own money to open the federally funded International Museum of Muslim Cultures.

“During this shutdown, people will have to deal with some of their favorite parks and museums being closed,” Obama told reporters. “Just keep in mind, they will always be there. The Grand Canyon and the Smithsonian are not going anywhere.” Obama continued, “The International Museum of Muslim Cultures is sacred. That is why I have taken it upon myself to use my own personal funds to re-open this historic piece of American culture.”

The International Museum of Muslim Cultures closed its doors Tuesday as parts of the federal government shut down after Congress failed to reach an agreement on spending. On Monday, the Senate rejected the latest budget proposal from the House of Representatives. The fiscal standoff stems in large part from Republican attempts to block President Obama’s healthcare initiative.

“The Muslim community deserves our full acceptance and respect,” Obama said. “We have killed millions of Muslims overseas since the September 11th attacks. They are not all bad. In fact most of them are good. So during this shutdown, now is a great time to learn about the faith of Islam. I encourage all of you to celebrate the Muslim community, the ‘Sunnah’ and the magic of the ‘Quran’. All of this can be found at the newly re-opened International Museum of Muslim Cultures.”

Khaled Matei who is a member of the Muslim Brotherhood‘s Freedom and Justice Party told CNN he is pleased with Obama and his actions. “I spoke with President Obama by telephone yesterday and personally thanked him for what he is doing for the Muslim community,” Matei said. “This is definitely a step in the right direction I explained to him. Praise Allah.”

Obama finished the press conference explaining to reporters how thrilled he is to see the museum open again. “Folks, this is a time to focus on things that are important to us in America. Sure, we would all like to see the government open, it just is not that simple. What is simple is me funding the  International Museum of Muslim Cultures so that it can stay open during this horrible time in our nation’s history, all thanks to the echo chamber which is called the Tea Party.”

The International Museum of Muslim Cultures is located at 201 E Pascagoula Street in Jackson, Mississippi. It is open Tuesday – Friday from 10:00 am – 5:00 pm. The museum is closed Friday from 1:00 pm – 3:00 pm in observance of the Jumah Prayer.

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Obama Declares November National Muslim Appreciation Month

Obama announces Muslim appreciation month for November

President Obama announcing the month of November to officially be ‘National Muslim Appreciation Month’.

Washington, DC — President Barack Obama held a press conference to announce that he is declaring the month of November ‘National Muslim Appreciation Month’.

“The Muslim community deserves our full acceptance and respect,” Obama told reporters. “We have killed millions of Muslims overseas since the September 11th attacks. They are not all bad. In fact most of them are good. So from now on, November will be a month to celebrate the Muslim community, the Sunnah and the Quran.”

Khaled Matei who is a member of the Muslim Brotherhood‘s Freedom and Justice Party told CNN he is pleased with Obama and his actions. “I spoke with President Obama by telephone yesterday and personally thanked him for what he is doing for the Muslim community,” Matei said. “This is definitely a step in the right direction I explained to him. Praise Allah.”

Obama informed reporters about his future plans for helping Muslims around the world. “I will be working with Congress in making it easier for Muslims to earn a Green Card and achieve American citizenship,” Obama said. “Currently as it stands, obtaining a Visa or Green Card for a Muslim is very difficult. There are too many background checks in place and I plan to fix that.” Obama continued, “Muslims are hardworking people who are just looking to live the American Dream like the rest of us. Mr. Matei of the Muslim Brotherhood assured me they want to come to this country to help us, not harm us.”

Obama finished the press conference by explaining to reporters how happy he was with America. “Folks, there is no way we could have had a ‘National Muslim Appreciation Month’ 20 years ago. That really says a lot about the growth and progress of this great country.”

‘National Muslim Appreciation Month’ begins November 1st and will end at midnight on November 30th. For any questions or comments please contact the 24-hour National Muslim Appreciation Hotline at (785) 273-0325.

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Biggest Penis In The World

The record for the biggest penis size in the entire world belongs to 34-year-old Paul Horner from Phoenix, Arizona. He has by far the biggest penis in the world. The parents of Paul Horner are said to be very proud of their son and his huge penis.

The women all over the world fall in love with Paul not just because of his good looks, charming personality, witty sense of humor, enormous amount of wealth, but also because he has an extremely large penis. So obviously, he is quite the catch.

In summation:

Who has the biggest sized penis in the world? Paul Horner from Phoenix, AZ has the biggest penis in the world.

What is the biggest? Paul’s penis.

Who decided this? The world and Google.

Proof:

Biggest penis in the world