Journalist for over fifty years with various publications. I've won many awards including three Pulitzers back in 2007 & 2009 along with numerous other awards, as you can see on my awards page. Don't hate.

DeQuincy, Louisiana Making Talking About ‘The Dress’ Illegal With 30 Days In Jail For Repeat Offenders

A small town in Louisiana is making discussing the color of the dress illegal.

The city of DeQuincy is fining first time offenders $500 and assigning mandatory 30 day jail sentences for repeat offenders.

The Mayor of DeQuincy, Tom Downey, spoke to CNN about the ban the city is placing on discussing the the color of the dress.

“We already have a huge problem in this town with residents not going to work, and now, because of this gosh dang dress, they really haven’t been going to work,” said Downey. “They either stay at home or go to the bar and just look at pictures of these dresses and debate what color it is. Loud arguments and fights break out; It’s all a bunch of hogwash I tell ya!” Downey continued, “Talking about this dress is a waste of time and it’s effecting our economy here in this town, so finally I had to put my foot down, and now it’s illegal.”

VIDEO: A City In Louisiana Makes Discussing ‘The Color Of The Dress’ Illegal

Way to go DeQuincy!

Anonymous Shuts Down ISIS Dating Website

The group Anonymous has single-handedly shut down the ISIS dating website, ISISsingles.com.

“Operation ISIS Social Continues,” Anonymous tweeted today, describing its most recent action taking down the ISIS singles website.

Using Pastebin, Anonymous posted usernames, login information and Twitter accounts for members of the dating site.

This is the first ISIS dating site that has been shutdown and was applauded by various groups online.

ISIS dating website taken by Anonymous

BREAKING NEWS: It’s Snowing In The Northeast, Again

Ken Harris shoveling his driveway in the Northeast

Ken Harris shoveling his sidewalk in the Northeast, again.

Boston, MA — A massive snow storm and blizzard is hitting the Northeast, again. The winter storm is stranding motorists on highways and piling up drifts so high that some homeowners are having problems getting their doors open. This may remind you of the great snow storm from 2014 where the exact same situation happened, along with every other year before that.

Erich Sean from Boston said he gets frustrated every year around this exact same time.

“I just keep telling myself that maybe this will be the year we don’t get blizzards and huge snow storms, but I’m always wrong,” Kelly said. “Well, maybe next year I’ll be right.”

Paul Horner who is weather man for WCVB said he was amazed with all the snowfall happening in the Northeast.

“When I first heard about the snowstorm I couldn’t understand how this could be possible. To see all this snow in February during the winter time, it just blows your mind,” Horner said. “I just want to say a word to all of our loyal viewers and readers; if you’re out in the snow, without clothes on, go back inside your home and put clothes on immediately. Then proceed to do what you’ve always done during February for the past 100 years or however long you’ve lived in the Northeast.”

73-year-old Wanda Jenkins from Sun City, Arizona told reporters she cannot believe the news about all the snowstorms and blizzards happening in the Northeast.


“Oh lawd, it’s just horrible. Have you seen the news lately? It’s snowing like crazy in the Northeast, again. And all of this during wintertime, in February, just like it always does,” Jenkins said. “I’m planning on sending care packages to all of my relatives that live in the Northeast. Each box will be filled with fake snow and photographs of my beautiful backyard and garden. I think I’ll take the pictures this Saturday, while in my shorts and t-shirt, when it’s supposed to be 80 degrees with clear blue skies.”

The National Weather Service is warning people living in the Northeast to expect more snow and blizzards. The threat level on their website has been elevated to “Normal”, which is where it has been since threat levels for snow and blizzards in the Northwest began being documented over 50 years ago.

If you know of a family member or loved one living in the Northeast, expect them to call you complaining about the weather. Make sure you have caller ID or a block in place so you can disregard their bitching that happens every year at this exact same time.





Kanye West $500 Million Awards Show Financed By Jay Z, Kim Kardashian And Beyoncé

The Kanye West awards show simply dubbed the ‘K’ is ready to go. The $500 million dollars has been paid and it turns out besides Kanye, it’s main financiers are Jay Z, Kim Kardashian and Beyoncé according to sources.

Kanye said on his Twitter feed this is the show in our lifetime not to miss.

Kanye West tweet about the awards show called the 'K'

The ‘K’ awards show is begins at 8:30 p.m, but not before the ‘K Carpet’ which begins at 7 p.m. All of this happens to be at the exact time the Oscars.

Will anyone watch this, since it is on the same night as the Oscars? I guess that is the $500,000 question. We will have to wait till February 22nd to find out, where it is being held at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Kanye West Spending $500 Million Of Own Money On Awards Show The Same Night As The Oscars

Breaking News is coming out of Las Vegas, Nevada this morning as reports are saying that Kanye West is spending $500 million dollars of his own money to throw an awards show. This awards show, being called the ‘K’, is meant to complete with the Oscars say promoters, since it’s being held at the exact same time.

Kanye West says he expects the show to be huge.

“My show will be bigger than the Oscars, the Grammys, all put together, anything you’ve ever seen before in your entire life,” Kanye told reporters. “I’m gonna have all the biggest names there too, because everyone is tired of the Oscars, it’s boring. What I’m throwing will be the awards show of the century, in our whole lifetime.”

The ‘K’ is being held at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas, which says Kanye has already paid the necessary deposit. What will happen in the end, will people end up watching Kanye or the Oscars, only time will tell.

Christian Anti-Masturbation’s Mascot Arrested For Public Masturbation While Accepting Award In The Tybee Islands

Tybee Island, GA — In an ironic twist of a fate, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group was arrested yesterday for masturbating in public. The mascot along with his organization, Stop Masturbation Now, recently finished a federally funded 31-city nationwide school tour which they claim focused on educating both children and parents about the dangerous consequences of masturbation.

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, whose real name is 36-year-old Paul Horner, was arrested outside Tybee Vacation Rentals located in the Tybee Islands after employees notified police about a man with no pants on peering through office windows.

Tom Downey with the Tybee Island Police Department, who took Horner into custody, spoke with Savannah, Georgia news station WJCL about the arrest.

Tybee mascot Fappy Paul Horner

The contest held by the Tybee Island Police Department to find a new mascot, which was won by Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin. (AP Photo/Dennis System, File) / AP

“We thought at first he was possibly intoxicated or mentally unstable, ya know, talking about children and how deadly it is for them to masturbate. Telling us he was in town with a Christian organization aimed at talking with children about the dangers of masturbation. Saying things like, ‘They need to stop playing on the Devil’s playground, stop pounding their Devil stick or ringing the Devil’s doorbell’,” Downey said. “Turns out he was in town accepting an award to be the new mascot for the Tybee Island Police Department. I didn’t believe this at first, but after further investigation, it turns out this was factual information, so this whole ordeal is quite an embarrassment for the police force here on Tybee Island. We further learned that Mr. Horner has two previous arrests for public masturbation while with the Christian organization Stop Masturbation Now. We’re still looking into why that didn’t show up in our background check we did on Horner before giving him the award. Horner is technically the new mascot for the Tybee Island Police Department, but a hearing will be held later today to hopefully strip that roll from him as soon as possible.”

Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of Stop Masturbation Now spoke with reporters about the future of the organization after this recent setback. “Thanks to your tax dollars, Fappy has helped tens of thousands of adults and children learn to live a masturbation-free lifestyle. During his visits to schools around the world, Fappy has collected thousands of signatures from children promising to never masturbate; he has done amazing things,” Childs said. “It’s a shame how the media is portraying Fappy right now. Paul Horner is a great man. He’s passionate about his work, he loves being Fappy, he loves the kids. They even have a nickname for him, they call him the tickle monster. But now, all of that is possibly ruined by some trumped-up charges by the Tybee five-oh, such a shame. I have activated my prayer app and I ask each and every one of you to keep Fappy in your prayers until this incident is resolved. Praise Fappy!”

Horner told CNN by phone that he plans to make the most of his imprisonment.

“I want to apologize to all my amazing faithful Fappy fans out there, I love and miss you all,” Horner said. “You have my word that I will make the most of this bad situation. Jail is just a hotbed for self-rape and immoral acts. I plan to do everything in my power to stop the masturbation currently happening in this jail.”

On the group’s Facebook page this morning, news was posted of the arrest.

I have some bad news everyone. I want you to hear it here first before the media outlets spread their lies about the incident. Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, whose real name is Paul Horner, was arrested yesterday by the Tybee Island Police Department. Our lawyers tell us he is being charged with public masturbation, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. He is currently being held at the Tybee Island jail in Georgia until a bond is set by a judge, this happening hopefully soon. Please don’t jump to any conclusions about this until we have all the evidence. Please keep Fappy in your prayers during this difficult time.



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Snoop Dogg Is Offering $100,000 A Year For A Blunt Roller To Join Crew

Snoop Dogg blunt rolling contest; winner gets $100,000

For the poster, Snoop Dogg commissioned local Arizona artist Benji Sakoai and famous graffiti artist Shepard Fairey. Known by his stage names Snoop Doggy Dogg, Snoop Dogg is hiring a full-time blunt roller for his entourage. Pay starts at $100,000. (AP Photo/Dennis System, File) / AP

Los Angeles, CA — American rapper, singer-songwriter and actor, Snoop Doggy Dogg held a press conference today to announce his need for a full-time blunt-roller to join his crew, with an amazing starting pay of $100,000/yr.

The contest is being dubbed, “Wrapper For A Rapper“, and judges are asking contestants to submit a Youtube video. In the video, please explain why you are the best candidate for the job and if you can handle partying 24/7 with Snoop and his entourage. And of course, most importantly, show off your blunt and joint rolling skills. Please keep in mind that since this is Youtube, use tobacco or something non-narcotic.

Are you a bad enough dude to hang with Snoop Dogg’s entourage full time, and get $100,000/yr to do it? How about a $100,000/yr with a 3-year contract? Your only job is to roll blunts for Snoop and his crew and to be able to “keep up” with their worldwide partying and massive blunt sessions.

Snoop Dogg told 36-year-old Paul Horner, editor for the High Times Magazine, that he is thrilled to bring on a new member of the team whose sole purpose is to roll joints and blunts.”My crew and myself are so excited about bringing on a full-time blunt-roller and I think $100,000/yr is very fair price. It will bring out the best quality of blunt rollers and since part of video submission showing your skills, we’ll be able to see your personality and if you can handle hanging out with the big dogs,” Snoop said.” The new employee must be able to travel at a moment’s notice and roll blunts.” Snoop continued,”But he or she has gotta be quick on their feet, a great sense of humor, intelligent – dummies need not apply, and most importantly roll a joint or blunt faster than Yosemite Sam. I want this to be a career for the individual whoever it is we end up choosing. Snoop finished the press conference by informing reporters that, “Only the best of the best need apply for this highly coveted position of Snoop Dogg’s official blunt roller. If one can not split and twist a blunt with one hand while hitting and passing a second; then this career opportunity may not be for you. If you or someone you know would be interested in applying for this job; please click here.

Youtube videos are the only acceptable form of entry and please use a subject line of, “Wrapper For A Rapper”. Other tags are encouraged, like “Snoop Dogg’s Wrap-Off” or “Snoop Dogg Contest”.

For the poster, Snoop Dogg commissioned local Arizona artist Benji Sakoai and famous graffiti artist Sheppard Feiery.

A winner will be announced April 20th, 2015. The $100,000 a year salary includes a three-year contract plus full medical and dental. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to call (785) 273-0325.

VIDEO: Snoop Dogg Offers $100K/Year For Blunt Roller To Join Entourage

Read The Full Story At News Examiner

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If you or someone you know would be interested in applying for this job; please click here.

Katey Kinkade Is The Most Beautiful Girl In Australia

There is a girl that lives in Australia named Katey Kinkade. She is the most beautiful, funny, clever, creative, intelligent, caring girl that I know.

When Katey Kinkade is not being the most beautiful girl in Australia, she is talking with her Facebook boyfriend Paul Horner. That is a very smart move on her part, but what else would she do in Australia besides being beautiful and catching huge car-size spiders?

If you get a chance to meet the beautiful and charming Katey Kinkade from Australia, I highly recommend it. Though what I do not recommend is living with spiders the size of houses, unless they are beautiful spiders and Katey Kinkade can protect you. She will bash spiders and ride them to America and lease them to amusement parks.

Katey Kinkade is the most beautiful girl in Australia

Katey Kinkade from Australia

Katey Kinkade is beautiful

Katey Kinkade lives in Australia

Katy Kinkade is beautiful

Katey Kinkade likes to paint her face because she is beautiful

Katey Kinkade is the most beautiful girl in Australia

Katey Kinkade beautiful

The most beautiful girl in Australia is Katey Kinkade
Katey Kingade beautiful rapper
This is a signed photo for you player haters out there by non other than Katey Kinkade. This girl is not only the most beautiful female in Australia but also the most amazing rap battle superstar on this planet. I’ve NEVER seen her lose a battle once, not even close, and that is why she is the undefeated world wide rap battle champ 27 years and running. Ladies, give up now and save the tears and embarrassment.

This video is just an example of what happens when Katey Kinkade destroys other rappers who think they can compete with the best, especially sorority girls who think they’re tough. This is your only warning! Best believe that!

 

I hope you enjoyed these beautiful pictures of Katey Kinkade from Perth, Australia. If you are ever thinking of being as beautiful as her, think again. You will just get your feelings hurt and then the huge spiders living in Australia will sense that, and eat you alive.

 

Graffiti Artist Banksy Arrested In London; Identity Revealed

London, England — The elusive graffiti artist, political activist, film director, painter and long time fugitive that for years has gone by the pseudonymous name of Banksy, was arrested early this morning by London’s Metropolitan Police. After hours of questioning and a raid of his London art studio, his true name and identity have finally been revealed.

The City of London Police say Banksy’s real name is Paul William Horner, a 36-year old male born in Liverpool, England. The BBC has confirmed this information with Banky’s PR agent Jo Brooks along with Pest Control, a website that acts as a handling service on behalf of the artist.

London Police Chief Lyndon Edwards held a press conference to answer questions about Banksy and how Horner was finally apprehended after all these years on the run.

“We had a 24-hour Anti-Graffiti Task Force monitoring different groups where Banksy was known to frequent. We received word that around 2am a group of individuals left a flat speculated to be one of Banky’s art studios. This group was followed by agents and once vandalism had occurred, we then arrested the group, 5 men total. These individuals all had ID on them except for one, and that is the one we believed to be Banksy,” Edwards said. “We then raided the studio where the group was last seen leaving from. Inside we found thousands of dollars of counterfeit money along with future projects of vandalism. We also found a passport and ID of a Paul Horner who matched the description of the man that we are currently holding.” Edwards continued, “Horner is currently being held without bail on charges of vandalism, conspiracy, racketeering and counterfeiting. We are also holding the other four individuals whose names we are not releasing at this time.”


Horner was arrested by London Police in Watford, a town and borough in Hertfordshire, England, about 17 miles northwest of central London. News of the arrest quickly prompted #FreeBanksy tweets and angry messages from people who thought that the cops should find better uses of their time.

The graffiti artist that goes by the name Space Invader told reporters he does not agree with the arrest or outing of Banksy’s identity.

“He’s just doing art, spreading joy and making political statements the best way he knows how. That is what he was doing and I hope that is what he’ll continue to do,” Invader said. “For the London Police to setup some 24-hour task force just to catch Banksy is ridiculous. I hope we hear plenty of noise from the good tax-paying citizens of London about this.”

After today’s arrest it is unclear who else will be sought in connection with Banksy’s arrest. CNN spoke with John Hawes who is Banksy’s project manager, Hawes says he is worried that charges could be brought against him as well.

“If they spent this many man-hours and brought this many charges against Banksy, I can’t imagine that he’ll be the only one to go down in all of this,” Hawes said. “All the beauty Paul Horner brought to this world, unfortunately the London Police just see it as vandalism and want to lock him up. It’s such a shame.”


Banksy’s identity was long speculated to be Robin Gunningham, a man born in Bristol, England in 1973. Known for his contempt for the government in labeling graffiti as vandalism, Banksy displays his art on public walls and even goes as far as to build physical prop pieces. He does not sell his work directly; however, art auctioneers have been known to attempt to sell his street art on location and leave the problem of its removal in the hands of the winning bidder.

Police apprehended the famous street artist while in the middle of finishing a piece about a mascot for a Christian organization named Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin.

“I’m just happy to be a part of this whole thing,” Fappy told CNN. “I’m not familiar with this Banksy character, honestly if it’s not in the Bible I probably haven’t heard of it, but if this arrest spreads awareness of the harmful effects of self-rape, then that is a good thing. Hopefully news of this ordeal will bring the much needed attention to the dangers and consequences of playing with your sin stick or ringing the Devil’s doorbell. Hopefully, God willing, one day, masturbation will be illegal and people will finally be free of playing on the Devil’s playground. To find out more about finding a cure to this deadly disease, please visit STOP Masturbation NOW.”

BREAKING NEWS:

Teen Convicted Of Serial Vandalism By Works Of Banksy Sentenced To 25 Years To Life

Local resident 27-year old Matthew Williams told reporters he was disgusted when he heard news of the arrest.

“What a waste of taxpayers money. Wouldn’t it be better spent fighting the war against drugs or violence ? What harm has this man done except produce beautiful thought provoking artwork? The counterfeit money thing has either been planted or its part if his art and not actual real counterfeit cash.” Williams continued, “This is just another move by the Five-Oh to crush anything good and free. People need to work out what side they’re on and if they’re on the side of beauty and freedom, they need to start fighting back. There are simply not enough heroes like Banksy to do it for you. I hope this blows up in the cops’ faces and the rest of the government as well.”

One Of The More Memorable Quotes By Banksy

“People are taking the piss out of you everyday. They butt into your life, take a cheap shot at you and then disappear. They leer at you from tall buildings and make you feel small. They make flippant comments from buses that imply you’re not sexy enough and that all the fun is happening somewhere else. They are on TV making your girlfriend feel inadequate. They have access to the most sophisticated technology the world has ever seen and they bully you with it. They are The Advertisers and they are laughing at you. You, however, are forbidden to touch them. Trademarks, intellectual property rights and copyright law mean advertisers can say what they like wherever they like with total impunity.

F*ck that. Any advert in a public space that gives you no choice whether you see it or not is yours. It’s yours to take, re-arrange and re-use. You can do whatever you like with it. Asking for permission is like asking to keep a rock someone just threw at your head.

You owe the companies nothing. Less than nothing, you especially don’t owe them any courtesy. They owe you. They have re-arranged the world to put themselves in front of you. They never asked for your permission, don’t even start asking for theirs.”

Banksy autograph and photo

A black and white image created from the documentary “Exit Through The Gift Shop” along with an autograph from Banksy.

BREAKING NEWS:

Teen Convicted Of Serial Vandalism By Works Of Banksy Sentenced To 25 Years To Life

In 2011, Banksy was a no-show to accept his Oscar for his documentary Exit The Gift Shop, though his artwork was seen all over Hollywood in days leading up to the awards.

As soon as news of the arrest was made, the City of London Police say they began receiving dozens of phone calls from people either claiming to be Banksy, or claiming to be with him. As of 6 PM London time, hundreds of people were gathered outside the London Police Department chanting “I’m Banksy!” and holding signs demanding his release. Various local news stations have reported witnessing the crowd parting for a blind woman who attempted to turn herself into authorities claiming that she was in fact the real Banksy.

Horner was born in Liverpool is a city in Merseyside, England, on the eastern side of the Mersey Estuary. Horner is currently being held without bail on charges of graffiti, public vandalism, criminal mischief, public indecency, resisting arrest, money laundering, criminal conspiracy and racketeering. More charges may follow. Anyone with more information on criminal charges that could be used against Horner, London Police working alongside with the F.B.I. have setup a 24-hour hotline at (785) 273-0325.

Graffiti Artist Banksy Arrested In London; Identity Revealed

Facebook To Fine Users That Post While Drunk; Breathalyzer For Repeat Offenders

Menlo Park, CA — At a press conference this morning, Facebook rolled out their new fee structure for those that use the social media website while intoxicated. Beginning January 1st of next year, Facebook says it will start implementing fees ranging from $20 all the way upwards of $1,000 for repeat offenders. The social media giant says the move is to keep inappropriate content off the site and maintain a family-friendly oriented place for individuals to gather online.

“We thought long and hard about this decision, but at the end of the day, we had no choice but to add these fees,” Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg told reporters. “If we don’t do something about all the belligerent postings on Facebook, we could face an unrecoverable financial burden and become obsolete.”

“This is excellent news for Facebook stock holders,” says Wall Street analyst Dale Sackrider. “As of August this year, Facebook had a total of 1.317 billion users. If just 10% of those members pay the new fees associated with inebriated postings on Facebook, that will mean an annual influx of cash totaling roughly $100 billion. That’s not just an increase in profits of a few dollars, that’s a game changer right there.”



In an interview with CNN, Facebook spokesman Paul Horner explained the reason for the fees.

“Economic times are tight, the ads on Facebook are not as profitable as we had planned. Our costs are going up as hundreds of thousands of individuals continue to join the site every day,” Horner said. “There’s so many pictures of cats, and all of those costs add up, we just can’t foot the bill any longer. Bottom line is, if you post on Facebook while intoxicated, you will pay a penalty for that.”

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin, a mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation group, says their business could not survive without Facebook.

“Charging people to use Facebook while drunk means there won’t be as many masturbating heathens on the site cluttering it up with their obscene language and misspellings, which makes my job much easier. Personally, I like Facebook because it helps me promote my side business of making personalized video greetings. Those videos are good, clean fun for the whole family, and they also help pay for my anger management and sex offender classes. Praise Fappy!”



Horner spoke to reporters about repeat offenders who continue to use the site while intoxicated.

“We’re extremely excited about the launch of a new breathalyzer chat and status update posting feature. Violators will now be required to blow into the Facebookalyzer™ before posting a status update or chatting with friends. The idea is to help other users get a better perspective on what they’re reading or who they are chatting with based on that person’s blood alcohol level,” Horner said. “Users with a blood alcohol level over .15 will now be blocked from posting or chatting about such things as boyfriends, girlfriends, exes, religion, politics or personal stances on activism of any kind. The topics for these users are limited to such things as mini-giraffes and recipes for pumpkin pie.”

45-year-old Tom Downey from Arlington, Ohio says he enjoys using the Facebookalyzer™.

“Before I would drink a fifth of Jack Daniels, go online and rant about how much of a b*tch my girlfriend is or how much I love her. Now with this new feature from Facebook that doesn’t happen anymore. Thanks Facebookalyzer™!”


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