The Ass Press
Posted: 06/23/2012 7:15:14 AM PDT
Washington, DC — Under strict orders by psychiatrists and other health officials worried about DEA Chief Michele Leonhart’s mental health, the Judiciary Subcommittee met again late Friday. This time with questions a little more elementary and straightforward.
This all stemmed from Wednesday’s Subcommittee hearing where two congressman, Jared Polis and Steve Cohen, pursued almost identical lines of questioning to the head of the Drug Enforcement Administration, only to have their questions stonewalled and unanswered.
The questions on Wednesday were related to the use of marijuana and the agencies position on it’s health risks to society. Leonhart dodged questions about whether drugs like crack, cocaine, meth and heroin are worse than marijuana. She was repeatedly pressed on the relative health impacts of marijuana versus other drugs, but would not give a direct answer.
Leading the questioning on Friday was Republican Congressman Paul Horner from Arizona. Here are just a few of the excerpts from yesterday’s questioning:
Horner: “Ms. Leonhart, thank you for joining us. After your odd display of actions here on Wednesday, we all have become quite concerned about the state of your mental health. So let’s start with a few basic questions and then go from there, ok?”
Leonhart: “Ok.”
Horner: “Let me first start off by asking you if know whether the number five is greater or less than the number two?”
Leonhart: “Those are both numbers.”
Horner: “No, that is not what I’m asking you. Is the number five greater than the number two?”
Leonhart: “Those are, um… those are both prime numbers.”
Horner: “Incorrect again. Let me simplify it for you further. If Bill had five bananas and Jane had two bananas, who would have more bananas?
Leonhart: “The problem with the amount of bananas in our society really depends on supply and demand. Our administration works hand in hand with different agencies to bring the distributors and suppliers to justice.”
Horner: “Never mind, let’s move on. Ms. Leonhart, is the Holocaust worse than marijuana?”
Leonhart: “They are both problems that society has attempted to stop at one time or another.”
Horner: “What about the Black Plague, starvation, the recession, cancer, Tyler Perry, Snooki and Aids all combined into one evil force… would that evil force be worse than marijuana?”
Leonhart: “That would be bad. As for the outcome on society, I was not around during the Black Plague, but I have seen Tyler Perry and Snooki, so maybe, in my own personal opinion, marijuana might not be as bad as that.”
Congressman Horner talked to reporters after the screening and considers what happened there a big success. “Ms. Leonhart is obviously slow. She exhibits symptoms of impaired judgement, short-term memory loss and poor critical thinking. These are all the classic signs of someone high on marijuana.” Horner continued, “But she does realize that this evil force that I talked about could be worse than the marijuana that she probably uses herself. So it’s a great start.”
Reporters talked to Knoshon Mootron, a homeless man from Arizona detoxification centers, about the mental health of Leonhart. “This woman is out of her goddamn mind.” Mootron continued, “That lady is in there trying to debate that marijuana is worse than crack, cocaine, heroin and meth… and she’s in charge of the DEA? Oh my lawd, I actually heard that woman say the words “marijuana addiction,” Moontron laughs. Then Moontron went on to explain how he would run the DEA if he was in charge. “Get me up in there, shiiit. Next time those crackers up there asking me questions like that I’ll tell em’, ‘Yo! I don’t make the laws homeboys, I just enforces them.’ That’s it, that’s all she had to say. Damn.”
DEA Chief Leonhart will appear on Dancing With The Stars next month. She won’t admit if this show is worse than marijuana, but does say people that smoke marijuana are prone to deadly and addictive dances of death.
VIDEO: DEA Chief Michele Leonhart, after a possible head injury, giving it her best effort to answer questions at the Judiciary Subcommittee hearings on Wednesday
Well, at least we’re making progress with this lady
I sure hope this lady gets the help she needs from these doctors. A retarded person should not be in charge of the DEA
I elect Knoshon Mootron as new head and chief of the DEA!
It really begs the question how someone like her who can’t even say “yes five is bigger than two” to be in charge of the institution that has to protect the USA from drugs.
This is real!!!! F*ck this b*tch!
If she doesn’t answer the question then the time will expire and she won’t have to answer the question. She has the DUH! and clock all figured out.
Mootron!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Case Marijuana:
I’m glad thats not my mother, nor my wife!
For copious amounts of money, I will forget every trace of human dignity and empathy for the victims of the by me enforced laws that make victims for their victimless crimes. I will use and abuse any and every law that lobbyists could buy from corrupt congress critters and execute to the fullest extend said laws, in order to further my political carreer as the most loyal slave to and in the system.
I will use the misery of other slaves to climb that political ladder all the way to the light and as far as my masters will allow me to go.
I will not allow for any scientific evidence to stand inbetween me and the political dogma I spew.
A Kapo is nothing more then a prisoner with a bloody stick. And if the blood on the stick gets dry, someone else is promoted to Kapo.
Best line ever:
Congressman Horner talked to reporters after the screening and considers what happened there a big success. “Ms. Leonhart is obviously slow. She exhibits symptoms of impaired judgement, short-term memory loss and poor critical thinking. These are all the classic signs of someone high on marijuana.” Horner continued, “But she does realize that this evil force that I talked about could be worse than the marijuana that she probably uses herself. So it’s a great start.”
Who wasresponsible for hiring her. So if weed is addictive as she seems to thimk then with all the coke and weed OBAMA admits and almost brags about using in his school years is a drug addict, right? Also meth = desoxyn, heroin = oxycotin pharmacuticaly – just chack out a P.D.R. about desoxyn and they said that oxycotin is the same as heroin, Did Dr.s tell their patients that? She sounds just like a typical cop, when was the last time she got pee tested ? If I answered questions like she did in front of a judge it would proobobly be considiered being in contempt. I most certainly would not want her to be working next to me on a factory line with her attitude she is like the one that would steal your lunch at work and then say she thought it was there for the taking.
Bush Jr. appointed her. Shocking, right?
The DEA should fire her ASAP. Then I would then hire her… to suck my balls
And I second that – hell she probobly deep troat. She sounds like just another oinker.
@Blunt Barry
I seriously doubt she`s competent enough to cup your balls,let alone suck them.
I guess you are right Blunt she just reminds me of some councelors I knew back in the sevenries. She actualy makes me feal smarter than I feal , smile!
I actualy meant blunt and reefer m . Keep the faith! keep smiling>
As the United States of Hypocrisy been commandeered by a nut farm or as the United States of Hypocrisy become a nut farm? Leonhart should be put in constraints popped in to the loony van, and spent some time at Happy day’s are here again mental institution for politicians and associates, she as well as Jamie Dimon, Obama, Timmy Geitner, Bernanke, Hillary Clinton, George Sorros… could use the vacation not to mention group therapy.