Obama Auctioning Off All Pot Seized In Drug Raids Since 2008

The Ass Press
Posted: 07/7/2012 6:00:52 PM PDT

Obama Auctioning Off Pot Seized In Drug Raids since 2008Washington DC — In a move said to raise funds for the war in Afghanistan, President Obama today announced plans to auction off all of the marijuana that has been seized in drug raids since 2008. The auctions are to be held in only the states that have legalized the drug and only to users with a medical marijuana card.

22-year-old Leland Hollandale from San Diego said he’s excited to participate in these auctions. “This is so cool. I’ll be able to buy my weed cheap, all off the broken dreams of others who are now in prison. I’m so stoked!”

Critics are quick to point out Obama’s stance on marijuana when he ran for President. “Back in 2008 when running for President, Obama said he would be lenient on marijuana laws, but since taking office he’s done just the complete opposite,” said 30-year-old Chris Roybal from New Mexico. “He’s conducted major raids in every state that has legalized marijuana. He’s seized billions of dollars worth of property and assets, ruined families, and put thousands of people in prison. All of this over a harmless plant that should be legal in the first place. He is by far the toughest President on marijuana in over 20 years.”

Paul Horner had his marijuana dispensary raided back in February and is now looking at 10 years in prison. “These auctions are beyond ridiculous. He’s taking the marijuana that’s been seized on a Federal level from states that have legalized it, and then selling it back to them. Obama is by far the biggest drug kingpin in the world and instead of being locked up in prison, he’s the President of The United States.”

Garret Roach, head of the DEA task force in California, said he’s excited about what Obama is doing. “We’ll be carefully watching and tracking everyone that’s buying marijuana from these auction houses. Obama already gave us the green light for raids in all 50 states at the beginning of his presidency. These auctions will give our organization so many new leads in the war on drugs. I can’t wait to make more seizures and put the bad guys in jail.”

Marijuana auction houses will be setting up in all major cities of states that have legalized the drug. Only people carrying a medical marijuana card will be allowed to participate. Users will be limited to two pounds of marijuana per month.

The DEA has setup a 24 hour hotline to answer any questions you may have and to find a marijuana auction house near you.

  • Marijuana Auction Hotline: (785) 273-0325
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  1. This is so messed up!

  2. Is this legal what Obama is doing?

  3. This is so not cool… how can Obama get away with this?

  4. Eric sidel says:

    I called the phone number… turns out there is an auction just a few miles from me coming up in the next two weeks. Can’t wait!

    • Cool I called it too and I had a great conversation with this guy Fred Phelps who kept asking if I was a gay pervert

  5. This is f*cked up… but I’ll still probably go check out one of these auctions

  6. Dr. Doctorson says:

    Welcome to the Obama Administration. You all voted for him. You are all idiots. And you’ll vote for him again. You have no one to blame but yourselves.

  7. Dark 1 Wonder says:

    People that don’t get angry about this need to leave this country

  8. dr. feelgood says:

    I think everyone agrees this is just plain wrong. Now the question is, what do we do about it? All of the head bobbers are rocking like a football field at a bobbleheads convention!

  9. dr. feelgood says:

    By the way, I called the phone number. There is a an auction in a week right by me. I will definitely be attending. Not to buy, but to picket

  10. Obama’s presidency is one big joke

  11. Common Sense says:

    If you can’t see that something needs to be done to stop this, and soon, there is no reason for you to be involved in the political system let alone the gene pool.

  12. You people are aware that once Obama gets this auction money, it’s going to fight the war in Afghanistan…. so many things wrong about this

  13. danny p says:

    This just makes the federal government into pot dealers… and not the “bad” dealers that give you a fair amount for a fair price and risk, but rather a dealer that just steals the pot from some and the government makes their money selling the same product… this is a f*cked up way to make a buck.

  14. I just discovered this site 10 minutes ago and can honestly tell you that this is by far the best news I’ve ever read. The journalistic integrity here is amazing. This site is now in my favorites and I will definitely return!

  15. Balls. Just like everyone else who’s commented, I like balls on my face.

  16. So the dea is pumped because they wll have people lining up to buy it…so they can watch them..I don’t know that id want to be a part of this if I had a card …however its also as ifthe federal govt r sayin its okay to buy ur medical marijuana as long as u r helping us fund nother war…the minute y’all citizens think bou making this ur income though..well think twice well come steal it and sell it ourselves…wtf…

  17. Think about it people. It is still federally illegal… Soon as one steps foot in one of these auction sites or even calls the hotline. You will be tagged by the government officials running this bullshit shananagins and then follow you then arrest you and anyone you associate with…. This is not hard to figure out…. Use your fuckin brains People….. I mean WTF.

  18. I called the number and there is an auction house right by my house. So stoked!

  19. Wow is Obama out of his mind??

  20. PtolemyXVI says:

    I think the cow lady is pretty hot

  21. whatever ….. go drinK a gaLLon of hard whiskey. just give us the confiscated cash 😉 ducK the wEEd

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