Boston Marathon Bombers Were Pressure Cooker Salesmen Gone Bad

A police officer mans a check point  in Watertown, Massachusetts as a search for the second of two suspects wanted in the Boston Marathon bombings takes place.

A police officer mans a check point in Watertown, Massachusetts as a search for the second of two suspects wanted in the Boston Marathon bombings takes place.

Watertown, MA — Authorities are now learning the names and motives behind the suspects responsible for the deadly Boston Marathon bombings that rocked the nation on Monday. All of this comes just hours after one of two suspects was killed early Friday in a violent standoff with the police in a quiet residential neighborhood just west of Boston. The second suspect remains at large following what authorities describe as a deadly crime spree that left one police officer dead and another seriously wounded.

The two men have been identified as Dzhokhar A. Tsarnaev, 19, and his brother Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26 of Cambridge, Massachusetts. Tamerlan was killed by police in Friday’s early morning firefight. Dzhokhar is still on the run after a daring shootout with police that some describe as a scene straight from an action movie. In the middle of the gunfight, a pressure cooker was thrown at police that detonated. These pressure cooker bombs were the same explosives that were used in the Boston Marathon bombings. The devices were filled with nails, bearing balls, and black gun powder which could be triggered by kitchen-type egg timers.

Paul Horner who owns Pressure Cookers and More in downtown Boston said Dzhokhar and Tamerlan were two of his best salesmen but says he had not heard from either of them since earlier this month. “They had taken the company car up to Salem for a pressure cooker convention on the 1st of April. They were supposed to check in with me after the convention but never did,” Horner said. “Those two were our very best pressure cooker salesmen. They could sell ice to an Eskimo. They could sell bubble-gum in the lock-jaw ward in Bellevue.” Horner continued, “I wish I know what made them act the way they did. They were nice boys, but I do know they were somewhat disgruntled about our decrease in pressure cooker commissions that we just recently implemented. I hope that is not what made them do all of this.”

Boston Police Sergeant Benjamin Davis told reporters they found narcotics on the body of Tamerlan. “We found a small plastic bag containing a white substance that we believe to be bath salts,” Davis said. “For those unaware, bath salts are an LSD type of Amphetamine that when ingested produce both extreme euphoria and paranoia. Bath salts have turned normal individuals into zombie, flesh eating monsters. It would not surprise me the least that this is what made these two individuals act the way they did.”

“We called them the pressure cooker duo,” says Horner. “Customers just loved them and always came in the store asking for them by name. They had a passion for selling pressure cookers like I’ve never seen before. Unfortunately they used their amazing pressure cooker selling abilities for evil. They used those same pressure cookers they loved to sell to make bombs with and kill people.” Horner continued, “They must have wasted at least $1,000 worth of perfectly good pressure cookers and I know I’ll never see a penny of that. It’s such a shame.”

If anyone has any information on the whereabouts of Dzhokhar A. Tsarnaev police are urging you to call (785) 273-0325. They say he is armed with deadly pressure cookers and is considered extremely dangerous.

[Updated at 04-19-13 | 5:10 PM PDT] The second suspect has been apprehended by police. There is nothing in life to ever be afraid of now.



  1. It’s too bad they couldn’t just continue to be good at selling pressure cookers. Instead they had to use them for evil. What a shame

  2. I wouldn’t have bought a pressure cooker from them

  3. Anonymous says:

    They could have been the best pressure cooker salesmen ever… instead they just went down the wrong road

  4. Anonymous says:

    Tamerlan Tsarnaev and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev

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