The Ass Press
Posted: 05/28/2012 6:00:52 AM PDT
Jacksonville NC. — More controversial news is coming out of North Carolina, this time it’s a law making it an actual crime to be gay. The previous weeks saw the state approve an amendment banning gay marriage and now with this new law it makes being gay a felony. Voters approved the new law by a 61%-39% margin with all counties reporting, according to returns from the State Board of Elections.
“We can’t change the results of this vote, but we can determine what comes next,” said Jasmine Beach-Ferrara, director of Campaign for Southern Equality. “When kids across the state wake up, I want them to know that this story isn’t over. We will repeal this new law.”
At a press conference this morning Paul Horner, founder of the Christian group ‘God Protects Marriage’, said the state has already begun shipping some offenders of the new law out by train. “If police catch you being gay, you will be rounded up, put on a train and sent to a camp where authorities will then deal with you accordingly.” Horner explains, “I have nothing against gay people. Trust me, this is what our loving god would want.”
Reporters asked Horner if these gay camps were similar to the camps once used by the Nazis. “No of course not, why would you say that? We’re just moving them all out to their own place so they can romp and play and do whatever it is that gay people do,” Horner said. “I don’t have a problem with gay people. You can be gay, just not in North Carolina, gross.”
Police are going door to door this morning looking for any signs of gay activity. “Whether it be a cocked wrist, a lisp or even a Cold Play album, we will find you,” said Jacksonville Police Chief Mike Davis. “If we see you being fruity in anyway you will be arrested. We’re just trying to keep our children safe.”
“You can marry your cousin in North Carolina. You can legally have sex with animals in North Carolina. Seriously, bestiality is a-OK. A cop could catch you humping a horse and instead of arresting you, he would probably want to join in. But two people in love are not allowed to be together because of the hate and ignorance of idiots, which according to the voting on this new law, make up 61% of North Carolina,” said Tom Watkins, 41, of Greensboro. “I’m moving to a different state.”
Penalties in North Carolina are strict says opponents of the new law. A first time offense for being gay carries a mandatory 30 days in jail. Repeat offenders, such as those getting caught being gay a second or third time will see a much stricter sentence.
To report any gay activity in your area, please contact the North Carolina Gay-Be-Gone tip line. There are various cash rewards depending on the information provided and as always, you can remain anonymous.
Phone: (785) 273-0325
Repeat offenders? Of being gay? WTF is this? Are you serious??!! This makes me so mad!!!
Are you serious? 30 years is no where near enough. Down with the gays!
I just reported this one guy in my neighborhood. He’s always skipping around listening to Lady Gaga
Lmao. They can romp and play and do what gay people do in a camp. Will it be a tourist attraction?? I like Coldplay and I’m not gay though
This story really grinds my gears!
welp, North Carolina is off my places to visit list, that’s for sure
They are going door to door trying to find gay people? WTF??!!
30 days in jail for being gay?? this is so messed up
gonna move to NC just so i can register to VOTE AGAINST all this crap !!!
What? Who on earth? Not cool North Carolina! Not cool
I agree, it’s not cool at all
This is bullshit! they try to arrest me and I’ll fuck them up
I called the phone number to report some gay activity in my area. Easiest $100 I’ll ever make!
I called the number listed and reported this queer I know at work. Easiest money I’ve ever made
this such bull shit! it wont last. glad i dont live there, but this is some sick shit. if anybody deserves to go to jail its the assholes who made this law. and all you saying you reported someone, yall are fucked off individuals! you should be ashamed of yourselves! if your god would want anything it would be for this shit to be repealed!
Who do they think they are? Might as well call them the KKK.. They are just as bad!!!! How dare they make this a law. What is Obama doing about it? Really? It is anyone’s GOD Given right to choose there own sexuality. As long as it is not harming anyone! To me this is no one’s business what anyone is doing in the bedroom. I know I don’t wanna know. I’m not gay! But I sure’s heck do not agree with such ignorance! YES .. that is what it is.
How have we gone backwards? How cold the government allow such a thing to happen. I hope the churches burn in hell for doing this. I hope all church people know they are wrong!!! What’s next burn gay people in the streets? God himself will punish you all for your stupidity. Gay people have the right to be gay’.. They also should have the right to be in the military.. hold jobs. I say this stems from Church people. Like I said.. You people will be punished by your own GOD! For your bad choices and judging ways.. God judges. NOT YOU!
Like I said where is Obama? I thought he was going to make gay marriages legal.
As for you Rick S.. Burn in HELL.. YOU Fucking LOW LIFE MOTHER FUCKER!!! I don’t swear.. But you deserved every bit! There is a god and devil. I hope both get you! You bastard!!!!! I mean it. And that goes for all you retards out there who think this is right! Gay people have rights to do whatever they wish in this life as you do. I pray GOD Strikes you all down himself!!!
I totally agree with you. My idea is to put all the gay people in their own area…. like how the Indians have reservations. That way they can frolic and do whatever it is that gay people do.
I hope all churches fall! For there ignorance and cruelty! God himself won’t ever listen to them on Sunday or any day! Bravo you dumb ignorant Church folk who think they’re always right! Churches are EVIL!! Real Proof here!!!! That gov is CORRUPTED!!!!
Sarah you need serious help!!! Seriously you dumb poor excuse for a human!!!
Well, do you have a better idea of where to put all the gays? I’m talking about a nice place with rainbows and music from Abba playing 24/7 or something like that. Do you know how much those queers would like that? I’m offended by your statement!
GOOD.. I hope you are you sick fuck! Maybe they should put people like you in HELL!
No u
Perhaps the Indians and Gays are the one’s who should inherit this Earth. Not sick demented idiots such as yourself. You think you’re better than them. You are worse! Think about it. Wait.. here’s a mirror.. Look in it!! What do you see? Let me tell you a little bit about yourself.. You are a sick excuse for a human. I hope you are punished along with all the other dorks who think this is right! What comes around goes around. You will get what’s coming.
I’m not saying I’m a better gay person or a better Indian. I’m just an overall better person. I’m white and of course I’ll get what’s coming to me…. A nice house, a doctor for a husband and two beautiful children. Our house would be in a gated community with security just in case the Indians or gays escape from their land and try to molest our children.
That’s just like saying that everyone named sarah needs to be looked down upon. everyone is better than people with that name. you’re using stereotypes. you poor confused bitch. you need some serious help
Wow.. hahaha’. you really do need help! Only one that will come get you Sarah.. Is GOD and the DEVIL. Since you seriously are breaking humanitarian rights. Who do you think you are? Oh you think you’re safe in your bubble. Yes it’s a bubble Sarah. I will pop it for you! You’re world will never be completely safe. How can the world ever be safe when there are people in this world LIKE YOU!!! Think about it. You are the one’s spreading HATE! And EVIL. YOU are worse Than the DEVIL! You people are the devils of this planet. Don’t blame him in your churches. Because it’s YOU who spread your ignorance into your children. Am I right? You should be so proud of your children who you brain washed to be just like YOU! Bravo Sarah.. I pitty you! Since judgment day will come! And God himself will know what you are. You people will never inherit this Earth. You will be in a prison.. Called HELL.
You’re comment ..”I’m just an overall better person”. I see no proof here that your a better person. I would have to say you are really a sick individual. And it really is something to know there are many people in this world just like you! No wonder why our world is suffering.
I find your comments just silly and offensive. I told you why I’m a better person than the Indians and the gays. Next time read what I wrote stupid
you are one funny girl ……….. I love it
Like I said dumb ass.. You’re not better than them. No real proof! What you’re WHITE! That means nothing in gods eyes. Next You had a doctor for a husband. WOW.. so what.. Oh the part with a secured gate.. bravo.. Anyone can have that you dummy. So keep telling me why you’re a better person. I’m sure this won’t hold up in you day of judgment day standing in front of GOD! Good luck you sick puppy! I pitty you.. seriously I do! There’s no hope for people like you!
You’re just jealous because I have a nicer car than you
LOL wow is that why you are so much better than everyone else? hahahaha.. Sarah you are so sick in the head. You will surely get what is coming to you from your own GOD! That’s a promise! I’m done talking to you. Because you are sicker than I thought. lol And everyone follows people like you. I laugh’. hahahaha’.. Good luck you sick puppy! Really.. thanks for the laugh!!! I won’t say’ May god have mercy on your soul. Because that would be a lie. I hope you all get what you deserve.
Oh, I’ll get what I deserve. A nicer car
I bet even an Indian has a nicer car than you!! lol and a gay person. Wow Good night you Sick .. sick lil puppy!
Maybe a couple do… MAAAAAAYBE. But they shouldn’t be allowed to drive in the first place
Ahh Sarah’.. there’s a white jacket with your name on it! Good luck you sick puppy. I hope everyone in this forum and in this world see’s what a sick individual you seriously are. Poor excuse for a human.
don’t be a player hater
People like you are true Haters in this world. You corrupt people.. & break the humanitarian rights! You’re not GOD.. So get off yourself. You’re only a White black hear ted woman. With nothing to stand for but your poor excuse for a car. And money rules you! You’re a coward. Yes a poor excuse for a human. And you people follow this scum? Not impressed.
Don’t use GOD’s NAME! You all will BURN FOR THIS!!!!!
Yeah right. God will be giving me high-fives for being so awesome and better than everyone else
Yeah we’ll see moron! Good luck!
I’m not a Mormon for your information
If the shoe fits.
Your mom’s a Mormon, you stupid hillbilly
I can’t believe they allowed ignorant people like you into POLITICS!!! What a shame!!! We have gone backwards.
This government is living in the past! Tyrant’s.
They need to arrest you right now for being such a queer
You are so stupid its comical.
No you’re a hillbilly moron. And you need to be in a mental institution you psycho! I stand for innocents and humanitarian rights. What do you stand for? Think about it Sarah. Did your parents raise you to be like them IGNORANT!!!
You all are living in the dark ages. I live for the future! Freedom. What our people fought and died for. You stand for ignorance, Hypocrisy, and taking humanitarian rights away!
I’m not living in the state where it’s legal to have sex with animals. Who’s the hillbilly? Lol
Sarah’.. I just care about what happens to all innocent people. No mater their race or ethnic. I don’t want to sit here and fight with you. I want peace for our world. Why can’t you understand this? Why can’t leaders try harder to make more peace in this world. It’s all I ask. Sarah did you know straight men kill and rape more children than gay or Indian men. So what you are doing is not right! You can’t stop psychos.. Since they trick everyone into thinking they are trustworthy and good. When they aren’t They could be anyone. Male, female of any race or religion. Even priests have been know for harming more of our innocent children. I don’t understand how punishing gay people will help our crime rate. And I hope you know. God does not agree with punishing innocent people.
Whitewolf… that really made me think, wow. Thank you.
After reading that and really letting it sink in, I now truly know… I now truly know that you’re a flaming homosexual. And your god will punish you hard… from behind. Fag
Sorry to disappoint you Sarah. I’m not gay. As much as you’d hoped. But I do hope you understand what you’re doing. Since you are taking away humanitarian rights. I’m a true humanitarian. I wish you were nicer to humanity.
I’m a chick. Why would I hope that you’re gay? you dumb queer
Truly no hope for you Sarah. Really? I thought Sarah was a guys name. lol What a moron.
Don’t call me a guys name you dumb queer. I’ll destroy you, just like the rest of em
Did you not read what you said you dummy. You said I’m a chick! I’m like duh’.. the name Sarah is what a girls name moron. And you don’t scare me one bit you ignorant c*nt!!! Yes you’re the biggest c*nt in this world. I am not afraid of you.
Oh yeah, you’re not afraid of my big c*nt. Prove it queer boy
I’d love to know what you’re IQ is. lol Perhaps you really are the missing link to the neanderthals. Since you act like one! In the past. You savage freak!!!!
Sarah… I’m a woman so. No thank you! LOL ew ew you queer!!!!!
Oh, so now I’m the racist because you as a female won’t hook up with my huge c*nt. Great. Typical. So tired of racist c*nts on this site not down for some v-jay. So tired. Obama will hear about this
You’re just a hateful person and I am here to defend humanitarian rights. I’m done. I hope the president of the united states does something about this. And the powerful people who can throw this law out the window. Because yes it is wrong!
Gay people are not queer. It is you who is queer. That name is for something very bad. And you fit that bill. If two people show love and want to be together. Who are you to say they can’t? Why do you even care? Why? Gay people pay taxes and work. I’m assuming you also hate black people as well if you hate Indians? You are the worse type of person. These people are good. What are you? You are hateful and don’t care about our children of the future. I fight for freedom. You fight for shackles.
I would love you so hard, just as long as you have a nice, not black or indian v-jay. I love the children of this country. HOW DARE YOU! as long as they are not dumb queers or something
So you would punish a child that was born gay? And baby Indian or Asian, Black baby? Sarah do you realize we all are children? We all are here as one! There is no black and white. We should live in a colorful world full of peace and prosperity. Why can’t that happen? When you were growing up.. what did your parents do to you? I am being serious. Think back to the day your first experience or parental guidance about colored & gay people. Don’t you think if GOD didn’t want everyone to be different. He would have made it that way? We all are equals. Instead of focusing on this why not think about fixing our economy. Why hate? You have learned to be a hater. I do hope you will change. I do believe you can. Yes you can!
God hates gay people… I don’t know why you’re trying to defy god, dumbass
your the one defying god sarah.god hates no one and nothing HE CREATED..he hates ignorance..he hates being questioned..he will forgive you for YOUR HATE..we dont have to
Prove to me that god hates gay people? Why are they born gay? Did you know gay people are born this way.. it has been scientifically proven correct! It is not there fault.. and it’s not anyone’s fault for what race they’ve been born in. God is the creator. He created us all to be different! I believe he is waiting for us to figure it out and finally make peace. It’s common sense.
Why do you like living in a world of hate? God is about love and forgiveness. Not hate! God himself is also man & woman. He can shape shift into anything he pleases including animal form. Why would he seriously put gay and colored variety of people here for us to kill each other? Do you seriously think this is true? And right? He says love thy neighbor’ and do unto others as you’d do unto though self etc. He is about change and love. He don’t like anyone who is psycho.
And yes there are plenty of those in all walks of people here. But punishing all gay people for what some bad gay people have done in the past is wrong. Not all gay people are bad. White people also are just as bad. There are bad apples in all races.
You remind me of my friends who debate who is the best fictional super-hero, Batman or Superman lol
god is also about forgiveness..he holds no hate for any child..god makes no mistakes..everyone has a purpose..and only god determines what that purpose is.he has created a world of diversity..who are any of us to question any living thing
Sarah’ All I’m saying is that we all are one! I hope everyone soon figures this out! Aside from the psycho’s of the earth. They truly are bad. In all walks of race. Those are the ones you should be afraid of and locking up. Those are the types we should be spending out tax paying money on. I would even be willing to pay higher taxes if they would put more of those psycho’s into prison. I have no remorse for people who kill others for fun. I stand for innocent people only! So does God.
no remorse for people who kill others for fun????? Yaaaaawn fest. You must be real fun on a date
Sarah also look at this in a more positive manner. Maybe God put gay people here to bring down our world population. We all are one. Have you ever met a gay person? You could have a gay kid and not know it. If any of your children ever are gay’.. They would be so afraid of you! You wouldn’t know. Yet they were born this way. Would you love them less?
There is no god. There is only source. We are all connected to source. There is no death. Our soul is infinity universes of time and space. But just know that there is no time or space in the non physical realm. We have lived infinity lives before this. This cycle, probably count 5,000+ physical lives per soul on average.
All of this is just a ride. We chose this path before we were born. We are vibrational beings. We only match up with what we want, but also works for our current situation (EXACTLY like the universal law of attraction or as you idiots might call it “The Secret”) The only true “sin” – as you may call it – is stopping someone from their journey along their chosen path. This would involve murder, or tricking them into stupid mind altering beliefs such as religions like Christianity.
There…you now know %10 of the truth. You’re welcome.
What is right is RIGHT!! What is wrong is WRONG!!! Everyone should be protecting what is good and innocent. Our country was built for freedom. Many lives are lost throught our history! For PEACE!! Don’t let there lives be forgotten in vain. America stands for freedom of future generations.
There is no right or wrong. This idea is only created by man.
The only “wrong” in your life here is stopping someone’s spiritual progression.
There is no America or other countries. None of this matters.
Don’t let an ignorant or limited mind stop you on your path. You can do it. I love you.
Love.
Thanks for showing me that none of this matters. Love is total.
love.
Wow who did that? Love. So much love.
Well cross North Carolina of places that I’m going to visit… those f*ckin weirdos
and how exactly do they think they gonna enforce this? put cameras in ppl bedrooms? i kno a lot of guys who are fem but not gay..same as i kno some gals that look butch but arent les..i am neither pro or con on being homosexual..its not my thing but who am i to tell ppl whats rt for them? what ever happen to live and let live? what ever happen to vengeance is gods? it is the good lord to judge not us..as long as their not droolin over your butt what do you care whos lovin with who? im pretty sure we all have enough to worry about in our own life to make someone elses life an obsession
Am I the only one who understands the severity of this?
I always wonder if God really exists. Well, this proves it. There is no God.
Not cool North Carolina… not cool at all
This is against the constitution, we have the right- pursuit of happiness so long as we aren’t taking anyone one Else’s constitutional rights away. what someone does in the privacy of their home with another consenting adult is their own business.
Well, bring out the swatzicas! We’ve lost NC to a great sin, this breach of American rights should be made illegal. We can vote, we can serve in the army, we can be elected to the national congress, we can go to church, speak our minds, why can’t we love? NC is no land of the free or any home of the brave… We need a civil rights movement to march against NC in d.c.
This is messed up! It should not illegal to be gay in NC or any state in the union!
i love this this is great
LoL, this is hysterical, i think this should be effective in every state of america, how can we truly say we love god if we dont act as he expects us to naturally act, this is the way god would want
I love North Carolina and gay people!
This is so messed up! I can’t believe they are doing this!
Wow. whitewolf and Sarah. that was ridiculous.
“I have nothing against gay people. Trust me, this is what our loving god would want.” What a c*nt!
This shows to the world how stupid some Americans are how do they prove some one is being gay and anyone who is gay cannot change the way they are, i hope everyone gets together and stops buying or using any item or product that comes from any North Carolina company, hit them where it hurts in the wallet.
you know f*ck all you who say anything bad about north Carolina I live here love it would not have it any other way fu*ck gays queers fags what ever you wanna call them the all burn in hell anyone who says anything about god think of this god created man right well he created woman to be with man not man to be with man
This is an absolutely ridiculous. People of the United States doing this to other people. We are suppose to be better than this. I am a straight female who is married and has children an grandchildren. Some of my children have served in the armed services in peace and in war time. This attitude is a serious insult to their service. They served because they believe that we ALL deserve protection and freedom to live in a country where we can be ourselves. You know right to “LIFE, LIBERTY, and the persist of HAPPINESS.” and yes I can say ALL and mean ALL. One of their siblings is a gay individual and they love and support and defend that siblings rights and freedoms. Don’t go around throwing God into it either because our church and our God is a good and loving God, and sees nothing wrong with my child. My child has never been struck down for entering our church and yes all you nay Sayers it is a Christian church. My child has never not been asked to volunteer time or serves to the church and quess what they all know that my child is GAY. Look at history people everywhere and every time people of any reason have been separated from others they have been persecuted and living conditions are horrible which beings sickness and death. How can anyone who believes this way call themselves Christian’s or American’s, or even human is beyond me. Shame in those of my fellow man that think this way is all that I can feel. That and rage that they think that they are so High and Mighty that they can insult me, my family, and everything that we have stood for and think that they are better than we or anyone are. By the way my gay child is studying to be a doctor. Hope one of those bigots out there doesn’t need medical service from my child because although my child would help the bigot, the bigots out there would probably rather die than take help from my gay child. Stupidity.
I hope incorrigible homosexual criminals get 30 years in jail.