Washington, D.C. — Fans of hip hop were in for a surprise Saturday when a user of the popular website Tumblr received one of the United States’ highest civilian honors that a president can award. 82 year old Donovan Strain was given the Presidential Medal of Freedom for pin pointing the exact date that rapper Ice Cube was referring to in his hit song from the 90’s entitled ‘It Was a Good Day’.
While presenting the award President Barack Obama said, “I’m proud to give this award to Donovan Strain. His courage and excellent detective skills are honored here today. I just love that song and I’ve always wondered what the actual good day that Ice Cube was referring to. Thanks to Donovan, now we all know.”
When asked how he came up with the date of Ice Cube’s good day, Strain said, “In the song he says that he went to Short Dog’s house and they were watching Yo MTV Raps. That show didn’t air until August 6th, 1988. Ice Cube’s song didn’t come out until February 23rd, 1993.” Strain continues, “During the song he says the Lakers beat the Super Sonics. So if you match up the days that Yo MTV Raps aired during that time span and basketball games where the Lakers beat the Super Sonics it will give you a grand total of twelve dates. Then by checking the weather on those dates for days that had no smog, just like in the song, you’ll narrow those twelve down to four possible dates.”
Reporters questioned Strain how he knew which of the four possible dates was the actually date that Ice Cube was rapping about. “This is where it gets interesting,” Strain said. “Ice Cube says that he got a beep from Kim, and she can f*ck all night. Beepers weren’t adopted by mobile phone companies until the 1990’s. The dates then left where mobile beepers were available to the public are January 18th, 1991 and January 20th, 1992. Ice Cube starred in the film Boyz In The Hood that was being filmed in 1990 and early 1991. He would have been too busy on set filming the movie January 18th, 1991 to be lounging around the streets with no plans.” Strain proudly raises his hands in the air and a smile emerges on his face, “So ladies and gentlemen, the only day when Yo MTV Raps was on the air, it was a clear and smogless day, beepers were commercially sold, the Lakers beat the Super Sonics and Ice Cube had no events to attend was… January 20th, 1992.”
Ice Cube was on hand at the awards ceremony for Strain. When asked by reporters what he thought of the day’s events he responded by saying, “I don’t really see what the big deal is here. If the president wanted to know the date that I was rapping about he could have just asked me. I’m happy for Donovan I guess.”
Demonstrators lined the White House for hours protesting the song that Obama was presenting the award for. Paul Horner who was participating in the demonstration said he didn’t agree with Obama’s decision. “So because Ice Cube didn’t have to use his AK-47 assault rifle, that made it a good day for him?” Horner continued, “How could anyone relate to this song?”
Asked what his plans are for the future, Strain said, “Right now I’m working on finding an answer to a question that has been keeping the science community and I up late at night for years now. What if the boys were already on their way to the yard, and the milkshakes had nothing to do with it?”