India Removing Women’s Eyes Who Are Caught Reading Books

India girls not allowed to read

Punjab, India has officially banned females from reading books. Any woman caught reading will face the consequences set forth by the newly created Punjab Anti-Reading Task Force.

Punjab, INDIA — Located on the edge of India in the northwest corner of the region, the state of Punjab is taking drastic measures to prevent women from reading books, they are permanently removing their eyes.

23-year-old Harikrishna Majumdar who heads up the newly created Punjab Anti-Reading Task Force (PARTF) explained to reporters the importance of what they are doing. “Woman in our villages were starting to speak out and question us, the powerful all-knowing man. We did some figuring of the matter and found out it was all because the females were beginning to learn how to write their names and even learning the letters of the alphabet,” Majumdar said. “Well, after a while, what do you know happens? Soon these unloyal females were reading actual books. Like real books, found in some  store, that sells books. I became sick to my stomach. So the task force was made to put an end to this silly nonsense once and for all.” Majumdar continued, “Now if a woman is caught reading, she will expect to never use her eyes again, especially to read a book. We are not playing around here, that is for 100% positive.”

Majumdar explained the various incentive programs that encourage men in Punjab to report women who are believed to be reading or possessing a book. “If a man turns in a female caught reading, that man will be rewarded with one ‘rape point’. If a man gets a total of five ‘rape points’, he is allowed to rape the woman of his choice in the village, no questions asked,” Majumdar said. “Rape points can also be redeemed for other things such as stereo systems and even downloads on iTunes. For only eight rape points you can get an entry into next year’s world famous Punjab Rape Festival.”

34-year-old Paul Horner who is in Punjab on business said he does not approve of what is happening in the country. “What the f*ck is wrong with these people?! Not allowing woman to read, or they will have their eyeballs removed? My work needs to stop sending me to these backward sh*tholes otherwise I’m quitting, that’s all there is to it.”

Majumdar finished the press conference by explaining the possibilities for the future of the task force and the program. “Men will always be smarter than women, that is just a fact. So removing their eyes might not be necessary, but seriously, who would want to be with a female that can read? Not I, that is for sure. I would rather see my country filled with millions of blind women rather than see one woman dare to question a man,” said Majumdar. “It all comes down to the idea of females having intelligence, how annoying would that be? That’s almost like having sex with a camel who is circumcised… it just makes no sense.”


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rapes in India

UPDATE 11/7/13: Woman of India, it’s your fault.

UPDATE 10/8/13:
View India’a Response Here

UPDATE 10/9/13:
India Ends Diplomatic Relations With The U.S. Over Satirical Article

UPDATE 11/13/13:
Top India police official says, “If you can’t prevent rape, you enjoy it.”


  1. This is truly disgusting… something needs to be done to put an end to all the inhumanities over there NOW!

  2. How f*cked up is this! I demand justice!

  3. Becky Peterson says:

    Something must be done to stop this immediately!!!!

  4. Memo to self: Cancel family vacation to Punjab, India

  5. WTF is wrong with these people?!!!

  6. India needs to change their ways or they will forever be labeled as this weird perverted country living in the past

  7. These poor girls :(

  8. I’m moving to India. I’m sick of all these empowered western woman that think they can get away with anything. Keep them under your thumb India or you will end up like us! I am looking forward to earning a lot of ‘rape points’ and taking part in the Punjab Rape Festival!

  9. Anonymous says:

    lol India…

    India judge defends acquitting 35 accused in gangrape case: “There was ample evidence to show the girl was used for child prostitution, which is not rape”

  10. Ishika says:

    Funny how in most of the articles written on india, the same person is concluded in the stories. Harikrishna Majumdar

  11. Proud Indian says:

    If u want to check authenticity then google these things and i assure you will find much evidence.

  12. Internal screams of peril. AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS LEGIT?! THIS IS REAL?!!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!! This is DISGUSTING!!!! How badly do you need your ego stroked that you have to take out a woman’s eyes just so she can remain ignorant and vulnerable?!!!! and RAPE POINTS?! *SCREAMS* NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Women aren’t cattle!!!!!!

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