The Ass Press
Posted: 04/18/2012 6:00:52 PM PDT
Boston, MA. — Horner Airlines is proud to announce that it has teamed up with presidential hopeful Mitt Romney in a first of its kind ‘Work to Fly’ program. Paul Horner, president of Horner Airlines, said the program will essentially allow people to fly for free as long as they put in a few days of manual labor for Mitt Romney.
Ben Thomas, a spokesman for Horner Airlines said, “In this tough economic climate, people want to travel but just can’t afford to. Now thanks to Mitt Romney and our ‘Work to Fly’ program they can. Mitt Romney is making dreams come true.”
Martha Jones from Mississippi was one of the first people to take part in the program. She went with her husband on an all-expense-paid trip to Hawaii. She said, “We always wanted to visit Hawaii but just couldn’t afford it. Thanks to this program we were finally able to go.” She then goes on to explain what kind of work they did to get the free trip. “My husband and I spent one day digging ditches around a sewage treatment plant of Romney’s and then another day working as correctional officers for a privately owned prison of his in Texas. Those working credits added up to two round trip tickets to Waikiki and free hotel accommodations right on the beach. It was so beautiful and our marriage needed that. It was falling apart before all of this but thanks to this romantic getaway, we’ve never been happier. I truly believe Mitt Romney saved our marriage.”
At a press conference this afternoon to announce the deal Mitt Romney said, “Throughout all my years I’ve fired so many people and paid so little in taxes. Now I can have people work for me for free too. I’m just thrilled.”
The president of Horner Airlines finished the press conference by saying, “We currently have jobs available in all 50 states for this ‘Work to Fly’ program. There are different plans for different free flights and hotel stays. The more work you do for Mitt Romney translates into more free flights and accommodations. Contact a representative today.”
Phone # (785) 273-0325
Use coupon code: FLY FOR FREE
I’m going Disneyland, that’s all there is to it. Thank you Mitt Romney!
But will he help put food on the table or with rent or the bills? Guess not.
Please, I just want a job.
I despise Mitt, but I’ll try this out. Want to go visit my sister in New York
Thank you for the good writeup. It if truth be told used to be a leisure account it. Glance advanced to more delivered agreeable from you! However, how could we communicate?
My wife and I just got our plane tickets to China. Thanks Mitt Romney!