Justin Bieber Devastated As His Monkey Remains in Quarantine

Justin Bieber is devastated as his monkey, Mally, remains in quarantine.

Hollywood, CA — With his bad press about arriving late at a London concert and being booed, fighting with paparazzi, and spitting on a neighbor, pop mogul Justin Bieber is having a rough time. To top it all off, German Customs Agents are still holding Bieber’s Capuchin monkey Mally under state arrest. Sources closest to Bieber say he’s never been so upset.

When Bieber’s manager Paul Horner was asked to comment, he said Justin had this to say, “Europe sucks. I miss my monkey. These tears of mine won’t bring him back and it just makes me cry even harder.”

Even though Justin Bieber is devastated that he is monkey-less, his creativity level is at an all time high. He is currently working on a new single titled, “Monkey.” The song is very similar to his break out hit “Baby” and Justin will once again collaborate with Ludacris.

“Yo, ‘Monkey’ gon’ be off da chain. You thought Biebs was hot before you ain’t heard nothin’ yet. This single gonna be so good it’s ridiculous; laughable; provoking or deserving of derision… I don’t know a word for that but it’s gon’ be good,” Ludacris stated.

No word yet as to when Justin Bieber may be reunited with his monkey again. The Capuchin is in temporary foster care but the couple that took in Mally are second guessing their decision after witnessing it’s terrible behavior. “If we try and take a picture of the monkey it will immediately try to block the camera lens with its tiny hands and it is constantly spitting at us. We’ve even witnessed the monkey smoking marijuana.”

If you have any questions or concerns about Justin Bieber’s monkey, or if you would like to cheer up Justin in his time of need, please call the 24-Hour Justin Bieber Monkey Hotline. Mr. Bieber has specifically stated he will only talk to fans about subjects related to his monkey so if you plan on calling to chat about anything besides Mally, do not even try it. It will just make Justin Bieber more sad than he already is.

• Justin Bieber Monkey Hotline: (785) 273-0325

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