Is Sarah Jessica Parker a horse? Our Super Official Investigative Action News Team gets to the bottom of this question to put a halt to this mangy rumor once and for all.
Hollywood CA — There’s been a lot of debate lately surrounding actress Sarah Jessica Parker. The million dollar question that has been on everyone’s mind is questioning her status as a human being. Super Official News has decided to get to the bottom of this debacle and find out once and for all if she is a horse or a human being.
“Her outrageous horse looks have gone too far!” 34-year-old Paul Horner from Laveen, Arizona told reporters. “Why doesn’t she just gallop out into a pasture and get out of our lives already?”
Senior producer Eric Burns from Entertainment Tonight says he believes that she is in fact a human being and not a horse. “She is not a horse, that is just ridiculous,” Burns said. “And to those who continue to criticize the looks of Sarah Jessica Parker, I say, neigh. I think it would behoove you to have some common courtesy. You all need to stop making such unbridled remarks. It’s unfair to saddle her with this burden of ugliness. Someone needs to take the reins here and say, whoaaaa, this has gone too far. Why do we need to trot on down this same road every time her name comes up? So stop horsing around guys. If she were coming to my town, I’d definitely pony up the cash to see her.”
The following evidence was collected by the Super Official Investigative Action News Team. After seeing the following data hopefully you will be able to make a stable decision, and put a halt to this mangy rumor once and for all.
Below are pictures of Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse lined up next to each other. The mane proof is in the eye of the beholder and remember to take all of this in stride.
Note: Keep in mind when viewing the following images, Sarah Jessica Parker is on the left and an actual horse is on the right.
I think this horse show has been ridden for everything it’s worth and can now finally be put to rest!
What do you think? Is Sarah Jessica Parker A Horse? Leave your comments below.
She’s a human being. I’ve seen her in movies and on TV. Horses couldn’t do that
I don’t think all the facts are in. It’s pretty clear from this evidence that she is at least 1/4 horse. Not a quarter-horse, but one of her grandparents obviously was equine.
She’s a damn horse!
Horse humans running around our city causing chaos… it’s time to put an end to all of this!
She’s a glue factory for horses
I would ride Sarah Jessica Parker.. not even afraid to say that
Horse. I’d do er’ still
Finally , someone states what I have been thinking for years, she is so damn ugly! and sorry but she has no talent. I saw her maybe 15 months ago, on talk show, maybe David Letterman, and WHY OH WHY, does she wear nothing on those scrawny inward curved shoulders, and her arma had fat swinging under them as she waiver her arms about, seriously, her family got herr in the business, she would never make it on her own, she had money to produce sex and city, which was a complete idiot show,
Hello Super Official News, I am Mark Zuckerburg the founder of Facebook. The news about the payment of February 14, 2013 ( https://superofficialnews.com/facebook-to-start-charging-users-3-99mo-beginning-january-1st-2013/) This story is exactly fake and I demand you remove this unreal event. The company and I are not making payment of Facebook. Please remove this unreal story immediately.
-Mark Zuckerburg
Hey Super Official News, I was reading the comments and I have to say, is that the real Mark Zuckerberg?
This is f*cking awesome. I would still scissor with Sarah Jessica Parker even if she is a horse… that’s hawt
look at her! if she’d auditioned as the lone ranger’s horse, she woulda gotten it hands down. clayton moore woulda rode da ho(rse). that is one ugly a$$ bitch!
behoove
lol
I’m not saying this so much as a commentary on Sarah Jessica Parker as I am in defense of horses. This is an insult to horses everywhere! SJP needs to do something with her hair–it would help her. Take a cue from the horses and wear some bangs or something…