Disney Announces Details Of Star Wars: Episode VII

Jar Jar Binks will return in the highly anticipated Star Wars: Episode VII

Hollywood, CA — Disney held a press conference today to give some insight into what fans can expect from Episode VII of the upcoming Star Wars sequel trilogy.

Paul Horner who is a spokesman for Disney talked briefly with reporters this morning to explain what lies in store for fans. “I can’t go into much detail but I did want to quickly go over some of the main plot points for Episode VII,” Horner said. “As you may remember Jar Jar Binks first appears in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace as a bumbling yet lovable Gungan from the planet Naboo. He was banished by his tribe because of his clumsiness.” Horner continued, “Episode VII will be a prequel that revolves around Jar Jar Binks and his life on Naboo before his banishment. We’ll be able to see all the crazy antics and wild adventures that he got into. Then the movie will end where Episode I picks up with Qui-Gon and his padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi persuading Jar Jar’s tribe to release him into their custody as a guide.”

Kyle Brock said he is excited to hear that Episode VII will focus around the story and history of Jar Jar Binks. “He’s the funniest, most lovable character in all of the Star Wars episodes combined,” Brock said. “Some people didn’t care for Jar Jar Binks in Episodes I through Episode III, but the internet extends outside of their opinion,” Brock continued, “You know why George Lucas made Jar Jar Binks? Because no one was there to tell him it sucked and if they did he didn’t listen. Ideas are not babies, you don’t need to nurture each one. They’re like your breath, sometimes it stinks but your nose is too close to the problem to have the perspective it needs. Disney, just like Lucas, is not listening to the naysayers once again and because of that, Episode VII will be the best Star Wars Episode so far. I can’t wait!”

Horner ended the press conference explaining to reporters that fans can expect more laughs and shenanigan from Jar Jar Binks than ever before. “We have better technology now, so the animation of Jar Jar will be amazing. Expect new hilarious quotes from Jar Jar and we’re even bringing back some of his classic lines such as, ‘Yipe! How wude!’, and who could forget, ‘Ooh mooey mooey I love you!’. Star Wars fans are in for a real treat in 2015.”

Star Wars: Episode VII is an upcoming movie from Lucasfilm Ltd. scheduled to be released by Walt Disney Pictures in July of 2015.

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