The Ass Press
Posted: 09/01/2012 6:00:12 PM PDT
Petersburg, KY — In a move that is shocking the nation, Missouri Representative Todd Akin has agreed to Bill Nye’s challenge for a debate in science. The announcement was made this afternoon at a press conference held at the Creation Museum in Kentucky. “I accept Bill ‘Lies’ the Science Guy and his challenge for a debate,” Akin told reporters. “He’ll quickly learn that the word of god will always win over the word of some guy.”
The Akin/Nye feud started with Akin’s recent statements regarding “legitimate” rape and homosexuality. Akin claims that science educator Nye has angered god with a Youtube video in which he says creationism “hurts kids”. He also claims that Nye is to blame for Hurricane Issac – the deadly storm currently heading towards New Orleans.
Nye was quick to respond to Akin’s comments during a live interview Thursday on the Smithsonian Channel. Nye called Akin “a f*cking idiot” for accusing him of personally starting Hurricane Issac.
“Look, these people, they’re f*cking retarded,” Nye said. “Rape can’t cause pregnancy? Breast milk cures homosexuality? I caused a hurricane by challenging creationism? Who can possibly take these people seriously anymore?”
Nye went on to say, “It used to be these Republicans didn’t believe in global warming or evolution. That was bad enough. Now they don’t even believe in egg + sperm = baby. Where does Todd Akin think babies come from? Does he think there are separate storks for people who were raped and people who weren’t? Hey look over there! It’s the rape stork. It drops it’s babies directly at the orphanage.”
That’s when Nye offered the challenge of a science debate with Akin. “So Todd I got an offer for you. You and me. Any time. Any place. Debating science mano-a-mano. I’ll bring the facts, and you bring the Vaseline. Because your ass is gonna f*cking need it when I’m done whipping.”
“This name calling by Bill just shows his true colors,” Akin told reporters. “That’s how all these atheists are. They anger god with their gays in the military, lesbians on the Supreme Court, all this promiscuity in Hollywood and in music and on the streets. Then we have this guy Bill Nye going around saying we can’t teach the word of god to our children! Of course this angers god and that is what is causing these hurricanes.”
Akin finished the press conference by agreeing to Nye’s challenge for a debate. “Bill Nye said any place, any time. Well I’m naming the Creation Museum in Kentucky, September 15th at noon sharp. I’ll be there to debate real, legitimate science. We’ll see if Bill has the guts to show up.”
Paul Horner who is an executive at NBC has already agreed to air the debate if Nye agrees to Akin’s terms. “This will be the debate of the century,” says Horner. “Forget about the Presidential debates, I wanna see Bill Nye versus Todd Akin.”
Nye has yet to respond. The Creation Museum is located at 2800 Bullittsburg Church Rd. Petersburg, KY 41080.
Can’t wait! Hope Nye agrees, he’ll mop the floor with Akin!
Epic!
Go Bill Go!
It’s on! Get em’ Bill!
Can’t wait for this debate!
I live rite by this museum in Kentucky… I’m there! I dont know much about evelution but I do agree with Todd saying gays are going to hell. Thats for a fact. All you have to do is read the bible
dear brother… you are very wrong…
I believe in God and creationism. But it hurts me to see Akin being so hateful towards Nye and, according to what is written here, homosexuals.
Now, I believe homosexuality is wrong; but I have my own sin to worry about. I don’t ostracize gays, I actually have a few gay friends myself. Jesus hung around those called sinners so that they understood there was grace for them and, while He cared that they sinned, that they knew He still loved them as friends and people. This is a misrepresentation of the God of the Bible and Jesus and I’m sorry to those of you offended by what Akin says. Nye didn’t cause Isaac. Egg + sperm = baby, correct.
But in the end, it’s not how the world was created that matters the most. It’s who God truly is that matters most. So i’m sorry that, as a follower of Christ, the group that I am associated with has once again given y’all reason to have something against us and God as hateful and degrading. I may disagree with your view on something; but I don’t hate you. Again, I have my own sin to deal with, I can’t worry about your’s. I can only live by example as I try to grow and conquer my own failures. Please, if you read this, know that I am saddened that the God I serve has had His named maligned once again and given you reason to not follow Him if this is how His “followers” seem to act.
I won’t post further publicly; but please feel free to email me personally. I would love to talk further about this and try to help anyone have an accurate view of who God is and THEN make a fair decision on if He truly is who Akin and so many others publicly make Him seem to be. I pray that you would discover He isn’t.
I have plenty of gay friends and I love them all, but my true following is god and the bible. Those fags must pay for their sins with an eternity of hell fire. Amen.
Oh look your judging others, if only you read your book you would know that you have sinned, have fun in hell with everyone else.
You are a horrible friend if you refer to your gay friends as fags. I hope you get a good seat in hell with the rest of your hypocritical, judgmental friends.
According to The Bible, it is a sin to judge others and also according to The Bible God is forgiving and judges all sins equally. So you should probably repent for judging homosexuals, for the sin of judging. Before you die and go to Hell with the homosexuals who didn’t repent. According to The Bible it’s very important to repent or you go to Hell. If you tell God you are sorry and are genuinely sorry in your heart, and pray to Him, and stop judging…He will forgive you and you will go to Heaven. All according to The Bible. So, for anyone to judge anyone about anything, well, unless they are God, it’s not for them to do because God told us not to. The judging is for God alone to do. Also, Jesus didn’t and doesn’t judge so that’s kind of awesome, very accepting was and is Jesus Christ. Maybe you should read The Bible…
And I’ve got plenty of straight friends, do you want a medal? The difference is that I would fight for their rights as well. You have 0 morals.
I’m rooting for ya Bill!
God will strike down Bill Nye the Science Guy with his wrath!
I can’t wait to see Bill Nye debate this fool! Akin will be put in his place!
Okay your all crazy if you think that gays should be sent to hell. Id hate to watch a christian family fall apart becaause of there own stupidity. but they do it to themselves. Stop believing in some stupid fuck who hasnt even showed up in the last 2000 years.. and believe in yourself. Bill nYE STARTED HURRICAN iSSAC…????? hell a christian man couldnt do that let alone some guy who probably sits at home with a piece of paper and a pencil solving shit just because hes a genius. I think everyones wrong and something will happen to make you and me as a population/species scared shitlesss. honestly the bible could have been written by some fucking crazy person. what if somone found a pink floyd album 2000 years ago and thought of it much like the bible. jsut an example. but still. anything could have happened. and im not gunna read a book to find out. theres been millions of copies made of the bible. i dont trust anyone. someone could have rewrote the damn thing for all i know. its all a trap. alllll offfff itttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!! believeing in something makes ppl feel better. so lets write this book so ppl arent killing eachother and doing tghing that I personally dont want to evere see. it coulda been somone welses opinion about gays and they could have just said throw in no same sex marrige in that book. im going off here its been awhile but people are fucked. who cares about god. all that matters is why were here. and i cant wait to watch this debate.
its alll controlled by our governments. if i was priminister id shoot myself. on national tv
I would really like to see Bill Nye to debate Dr. John Lennox. but he will never do it because he know he will be utterly embarraced. Todd Akin Is a an Engineer, Ex Military Man, and politician. This whole thing is a set up to discredit anyone who believes in god. Of course Bill will challenge Akin because he knows he can win. but he will never ever have the balls to debate John Lennox. this whole Bill Nye business is a Joke. sad
It is insane to use the bible as a rule book, because people are already picking and choosing which of gods rules to follow. If you want to say the homosexuality is a sin, because it is in the bible, then I want you to also say that “Exodus 21:17 Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.”
Also, the bible doesn’t even say Gay marriage is wrong. It is all interpretation.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lee-jefferson/bible-gay-marriage_b_886102.html
the only reason any of you take the point of view you do is because of the many christians that don’t read their bibles and are a bad example of what a real christian is suppose to be. know matter what we believe, athiesm, Agnostisism, Christianity, we all currently have in our countries government a President and administration that in the last term accumulated as much debt as 43 presinents combined. This is not an accident. these people are intellogent and know what they are doing. So ask your self why are they doing this? Instead fighting against each other why don’t we get pist and turn our attention to the facts about whats going on with the Nation we live in. Wake up people.
LOL HAHA CAN’T SPEAK LOL… YOUR COMMENT… GRAMMAR NAZI… IDIOT…. INCORRECT FACTS AND INFORMATION…LOL… ATHEISM IS A BELIEF LOL… SO MUCH WRONG WITH EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID…. STILL LAUGHING.
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