Todd Akin Accepts Bill Nye’s Challenge For A Science Debate

The Ass Press
Posted: 09/01/2012 6:00:12 PM PDT

bill nye todd akin debatePetersburg, KY — In a move that is shocking the nation, Missouri Representative Todd Akin has agreed to Bill Nye’s challenge for a debate in science. The announcement was made this afternoon at a press conference held at the Creation Museum in Kentucky. “I accept Bill ‘Lies’ the Science Guy and his challenge for a debate,” Akin told reporters. “He’ll quickly learn that the word of god will always win over the word of some guy.”

The Akin/Nye feud started with Akin’s recent statements regarding “legitimate” rape and homosexuality. Akin claims that science educator Nye has angered god with a Youtube video in which he says creationism “hurts kids”. He also claims that Nye is to blame for Hurricane Issac – the deadly storm currently heading towards New Orleans.

Nye was quick to respond to Akin’s comments during a live interview Thursday on the Smithsonian Channel. Nye called Akin “a f*cking idiot” for accusing him of personally starting Hurricane Issac.

“Look, these people, they’re f*cking retarded,” Nye said. “Rape can’t cause pregnancy? Breast milk cures homosexuality? I caused a hurricane by challenging creationism? Who can possibly take these people seriously anymore?”

Nye went on to say, “It used to be these Republicans didn’t believe in global warming or evolution. That was bad enough. Now they don’t even believe in egg + sperm = baby. Where does Todd Akin think babies come from? Does he think there are separate storks for people who were raped and people who weren’t? Hey look over there! It’s the rape stork. It drops it’s babies directly at the orphanage.”

That’s when Nye offered the challenge of a science debate with Akin. “So Todd I got an offer for you. You and me. Any time. Any place. Debating science mano-a-mano. I’ll bring the facts, and you bring the Vaseline. Because your ass is gonna f*cking need it when I’m done whipping.”

“This name calling by Bill just shows his true colors,” Akin told reporters. “That’s how all these atheists are. They anger god with their gays in the military, lesbians on the Supreme Court, all this promiscuity in Hollywood and in music and on the streets. Then we have this guy Bill Nye going around saying we can’t teach the word of god to our children! Of course this angers god and that is what is causing these hurricanes.”

Akin finished the press conference by agreeing to Nye’s challenge for a debate. “Bill Nye said any place, any time. Well I’m naming the Creation Museum in Kentucky, September 15th at noon sharp. I’ll be there to debate real, legitimate science. We’ll see if Bill has the guts to show up.”

Paul Horner who is an executive at NBC has already agreed to air the debate if Nye agrees to Akin’s terms. “This will be the debate of the century,” says Horner. “Forget about the Presidential debates, I wanna see Bill Nye versus Todd Akin.”

Nye has yet to respond. The Creation Museum is located at 2800 Bullittsburg Church Rd. Petersburg, KY 41080.

RELATED NEWS >>> Accused Rapist Found Not Guilty Using ‘Todd Akin Defense’

Accused Rapist Found Not Guilty Using ‘Todd Akin Defense’

The Ass Press
Posted: 08/24/2012 3:41:14 PM PDT

Todd AkinDequincy, LA — In a move that is shocking the nation today, the Honorable Judge Paul Horner of Dequincy Louisiana, reversed the guilty verdict of accused rapist Daryl James Thompson based on what the judge is calling the ‘Todd Akin Defense’. Horner said that since it was legitimate rape and that the victim actually got pregnant from Thompson, it proves the man could not have raped her. This announcement comes just days after Republican Todd Akin’s controversial comments aired on a St. Louis TV station. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down,” Akin said on Sunday.

Thompson was in court today for sentencing. This is when Horner announced he was reversing the jury’s unanamous guilty verdict from two weeks prior. Horner then dismissed all charges, apologized to Thompson for his time and then released him from custody. The decision by the judge is making headlines not just because the victim was able to positively identify her rapist but because the baby she gave birth to also matched Thompson’s DNA exactly. This is now the first accused rapist to be found not guilty using this new ‘Todd Akin Defense’.

Brandon Adams who was the State’s Prosecutor on the case said he was stunned by the judges decision and is now worried about future cases involving rape. “What Judge Horner did here today will set a precedent that can now be used in any future and past rape cases. Any rapist who impregnated a woman can now use the ‘Todd Akin Defense’. The scary part is this also applies to anyone in prison who is currently serving time for their crime,” Adams said. “We could realistically see thousands of violent rapists back on the streets in the next 30-90 days.”

Outside the Courthouse, Reverend Matt Johnson from the Holy Lovers Methodist Church in Dequincy talked to reporters and said he supports the judges decision. “Judge Horner is doing god’s work,” Johnson said. “Republican Todd Akin is an amazing man and his beautiful words spoken the other day have inspired a remarkable person like Paul Horner to let an innocent man remain free. We have to obey what our elected officials like Akin say, and that is exactly what Judge Horner did. Our god is truly shining his everlasting love down on the town of Dequincy today.”

Family members of the rape victim said they don’t agree with the judge’s decision today whatsoever. The victim’s father spoke briefly to reporters before leaving with the other members of the family who were there for sentencing. “Judge Horner is completely insane and not living in this century. He’s out of touch with society and someone needs to legitimately rape him.”

The family of Daryl James Thompson has setup a hotline so people can send in their donations to help others wrongly found guilty of rape. They say the funds collected will be used for attorney fees to help those currently in prison be released as soon as possible.

  • The Daryl James Thompson Rape Release Hotline: (785) 273-0325