Hating Anything In Life Is Only Hating Yourself

Hate, intolerance, racism all can be fixedHate, intolerance and racism in this world could all be a thing of the past but it first starts with you. This is your life and you can choose to live it however you want. There is no one stopping you from living a life full of love and acceptance except yourself.

I was hanging out with this girl last night at my house who is lucky enough to have a permanent tan. She knows I write and do standup and wanted to hear some jokes. I told her a few and then warned her about the next one. “I’m going to tell it to you”, I said, “But you might find it racist or offensive.” She said, “Say it! I want to hear it!” So after a moment of thinking, I told her the joke.

“I’m so tired of people referring to things by adding color in the description. For example, ‘Hey everybody, check out my new black shoes!’ Why can’t they just say, ‘Hey everybody, check out my new shoes?’ The same goes for painting. Why do people have to say ‘black paint’? Why can’t they just say, ‘Jamal, please paint the fence’.”

She started laughing and milk actually shot out of her nose. I didn’t even have any milk in the house. She must have brought it from home, maybe in a milk flask or something.

I asked her if that joke was too racist or offensive. She kind of blew my mind with her answer and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. She said, “The people that find that joke racist, are racist. It’s something deep down, almost subconscious. It’s something that they don’t like about themselves. So instead of fixing their problem they take their anger and frustrations out on someone else.”

Nevermind album cover by the band Nirvana

The controversial ‘Nevermind’ album cover by the band Nirvana released on September 24, 1991.

Think about most of the Republicans out there like Rick Santorum for example. He hides his hate and homophobia behind a 2,000-year-old book. That guy thinks about gay sex more than gay people think about gay sex.

As a person in office that represents the gay hate machine, Santorum will never publicly come out of the closet, but I guarantee that sooner or later a scandal will emerge about him being with another man. It’s only a matter of time.

Kurt Cobain said it best about the cover of his 1991 album Nevermind:

“If you’re offended by this, you must be a closet pedophile.”

Facebook Whistleblower Says Fake Accounts Makeup Half Of All Current Users

Bill Murray saves a child in London, England from certain death

Paul Horner seen here (not his real name) talks to the BBC News about Facebook and their hundreds of thousands of fake accounts.

London, England — An insider working at the offices of Facebook in London, England told the BBC News today that almost half the accounts on Facebook are fake. He said these shill accounts are known to exist and Facebook is fully aware of them yet does nothing to delete them.

Paul Horner (not his real name) told the BBC that the shill accounts are not deleted for the sole purpose of keeping Facebook’s stock price up. “I think it is wrong what Facebook is doing and it’s finally time that someone came forward to expose this scam and that someone is me,” Horner said. “Facebook claims it has over 1 billion active monthly users. The real numbers are closer to 600,000 at the most. If that news were made public the stock price would plummet, so Facebook is careful not to take action against the fake accounts or to disclose that information.”

Horner then went on to list the sites with the most fake users on Facebook. “With the private data that I have personally seen, the pages that have the most fake users are the ones belonging to Fox News, Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Bill O’ReillyRush Limbaugh, Rick Perry, Michele Bachman & Sarah Palin just to name some of the top offenders,” Horner said. “The fake users are easy to spot on their pages. Anyone agreeing with these people or telling them how much they love and appreciate what they are doing for America; that is a dead giveaway.” Horner continued, “All the Tea Party fan pages out there, those are 80-90% fake users. There is just not that much hate in the world for pages like those to have the numbers they do, and the companies that fund those pages know that too. So they create thousands of fake accounts and pay people with no morals to work their agendas using those shill accounts. Or they just let the shill account stay inactive but it gives the page the appearance of having more users than it actually does.”


Horner finished the interview by telling the BBC News where he got his inspiration to be a whistleblower. “If Edward Snowden has the courage to come forward and expose the NSA, then I can do the same in exposing Facebook.”

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg could not be reached for comment at the time of this press release. Facebook, Inc., ticker symbol FB, is currently trading at 23.48 -0.25‎ (-1.04%‎).

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Rick Santorum Voted People’s Sexiest Republican Alive

The Ass Press
Posted: 04/7/2012 6:00:52 PM PDT
Rick Santorum voted sexiest Republican by People magazineThe magazine People is pleased to announce Rick Santorum as this year’s sexiest Republican alive. This is Santorum’s first win as ‘sexiest’ and was chosen from a long list of other Republicans currently serving in office.

“I think this is fantastic,” Rick Santorum said this morning at a press conference after he was informed of being voted sexiest Republican alive. “This just proves that you don’t have to be gay to be sexy and if you are gay, well, that’s just gross.”

“He’s not afraid to get wild and crazy sometimes, just be himself,” Susan Kindle editor for People said, “He loathes gay people because of the bible but at the same time has his whole staff work on the Sabbath. According to the bible, those employees of his should be put to death! Oh man, classic Santorum! Just making it up as he goes along. Only one word for that… sexy!”

After receiving the ‘Sexiest Republican Alive’ award, Santorum spoke briefly about Iran. “They don’t have many sexy individuals over there. They are a nation full of religious zealots, that with the help of god, will be blown off the face of this planet. With god’s love and mercy, they will all burn in hell for eternity.”

Paul Horner of Louisiana said he hopes this win will eventually lead to a Presidency for Santorum. “Yeah he’s sexy, but I want him as my next president. He doesn’t need a lot of fancy schoolin’ degrees like our current president, he’s got a PHD in Jesus.” Horner goes on to say, “I for one know I’ll get a lot more done once pornography becomes illegal. Though I am worried about all the missionary sex I’ll be having with no contraception. Maybe Mr. Santorum will allow me to use a condom if it has a picture of the Virgin Mary on it. I sure would appreciate that.”

Steve Reynold’s marketing executive for People said, “It was a tough choice to find a Republican that we could call sexy because they’re all kind of fat and old.” Reynold’s said, “Rick Santorum isn’t bald, he’s under seventy and he weighs less than 300 pounds… so yeah, he’s our winner.”