CONFIRMED TRUE: Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin WAS Arrested At SeaWorld For Masturbating In Public

Fappy arrested at SeaWorld

Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin was arrested for public masturbation at SeaWorld.

There is a story going around the internet about a dolphin mascot for a Christian anti-masturbation organization who was arrested at SeaWorld for public masturbation. This story is in fact TRUE.

On November 13th Fappy, AKA Paul Horner, was arrested at Sea World after employees notified police about a man swimming in the dolphin tank with nothing on except a dolphin mascot head.

Tom Downey with the San Diego Police Department, who took Horner into custody, spoke with local news station KNSD about the arrest.

“We thought at first he was possibly intoxicated or mentally unstable, ya know, talking about children and how deadly it is for them to masturbate. Telling us he was at the park with a Christian organization speaking to children about the dangers of masturbation. Saying things like, ‘They need to stop playing on the Devil’s playground, stop pounding their Devil stick and ringing the Devil’s doorbell’, we thought he was insane,” Downey said. “Turns out he actually was with this anti-masturbation organization who were accompanying a group of 3rd graders around the park when Horner left the children to swim with the dolphins and masturbate. We further learned that Mr. Horner has three previous arrests for public masturbation, all while employed by this Christian organization who goes by the name of Stop Masturbation Now.”

Horner’s attorney, Pattie Smith, told CBS News the dolphin mascot will try and prevent masturbation in prison if found guilty.

“Horner is in good spirits and waiting for this whole ordeal to be over,” Smith said. ““Horner told me he is innocent, but if found guilty, says he will put an end to inmate masturbation in every jail and prison across the country, starting with the one he may be serving time at.”

This story has been confirmed TRUE.

CONFIRMED TRUE: Secret Service Agent Says Obama Is Muslim & Gay In New Tell-All Book

The Black House by Paul Horner

The Black House: A story about an Ex-Secret Service agent who claims President Obama is a gay Muslim.

Making its way around the internet is a story about a book titled, ‘The Black House‘. The best-selling book is about an Ex-Secret Service agent who claims that Obama is a Muslim and also a homosexual. This has been confirmed as TRUE.

We spoke with Lawn Gnome Publishing‘s owner, Aaron Johnson, who put out the book.

“We’ve been selling tens of thousands of copies,” Johnson told Fox News. “We can’t keep copies of the book on the shelves and in our inventory. This true story is also one of the highest selling books currently on Amazon.”

Megyn Kelly from the The Kelly File told Fox News viewers that she highly recommends buying book.

“This book is a must-have for anyone that loves America,” Kelly said. “We have been lied to by this administration for long enough. It is time that Obama comes out, steps up, and addresses these accusations made by a highly decorated former Secret Service agent who used to be in his inner circle.”

The ‘The Black House by Paul Horner’ centers around the former Secret Service agent who tells his story about working and living within the White House during Barack Obama’s term as President.

VIDEO: Secret Service Agent Says Obama Is Muslim & Gay In New Tell-All Book

CONFIRMED TRUE: Survivor Files $1.2 Million Lawsuit Against Kim Davis & Mike Huckabee

Eye of the Tiger by Survivor

The album cover of for ‘Eye of the Tiger’ by Survivor. (AP Photo/Dennis System)

Salisbury, NC — In an article originally published by NBC News, Survivor band members claim they are suing Kim Davis and Mike Huckabee for $1.2 million dollars for using their song “Eye of the Tiger” without permission. This story has been confirmed true by the lawyer representing Survivor.

“We have filed the necessary paperwork with the county courthouse in Salisbury and expect the lawsuit proceedings to commence shortly,” Paul Horner with EZ Rider & Associates told CNN. “Mike Huckabee and Kim Davis had no permission to use the song, bottom line. This incident is in the national public spot light right now, and Huckabee is running for president; they should have known better.”

Davis, the Kentucky clerk who was jailed after refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, was released Tuesday morning, after serving six days in prison, to the sound of “Eye of the Tiger.” The song played in the background as she, her husband, and Mike Huckabee celebrated her freedom in front of thousands of supporters.

“Eye of the Tiger” was released in the spring of 1982 as a single from Survivor’s third album. It was written at the request of actor Sylvester Stallone to be used as the theme song for the movie Rocky III.

New Chewing Tobacco Ad Campaign Targets Teenagers

Copenhagen ad campaign targeting teens

One of the many ads by Copenhagen which target teens. (AP Photo/Dennis System)

According to Fox News, the Copenhagen brand of chewing tobacco recently launched a new ad campaign targeting teenagers. The ads, which began showing up last month in teen magazines like Seventeen, have parents all over the country up in arms.

“It’s sickening what Copenhagen is doing,” Samantha Davies of Truth, an anti-tobacco organization, told Fox & Friends. “They are glamorizing something that is just as dangerous and deadly as cigarettes to the youth of this country, and children are buying into it. They believe that because it’s smokeless tobacco it’s OK.” Davies continued, “Just when you think Big Tobacco couldn’t stoop any lower they go and pull a stunt like this. It’s pure evil and greed, it’s that simple.”

The ads show teenagers holding cans of Copenhagen, while using the product and a slogan that reads, ‘DO WHAT YOU WANT’. Teens are also encouraged by the company to send in pictures of themselves using the product and in return Copenhagen says they will provide them with free merchandise.

Tom Downey, a spokesman for Copenhagen, told reporters the company is attempting to help the young people in this country with the new ad campaign.

“Smokeless tobacco is not as bad as cigarettes and both guys and girls can use it,” Downey said. “I think this new ad campaign is exactly what the youth in this country need.”

Paul Horner of Leo Burnett Worldwide, the company who created the new ad campaign for Copenhagen, told NBC News that the ads have been extremely successful so far.

“Copenhagen is looking to get away from their ‘bearded, rugged old man, outdoorsy-grizzle-eating-a-bear’ type image, so they came to us for help,” Horner said. “The goal of our ads is to introduce tobacco to young kids who are not familiar with the product yet. Also, as of today, I’m proud to say that sales for Copenhagen smokeless tobacco have increased 18% since the new ad campaign began.”

17-year-old Thomas Kelly spoke to CNN about the controversial ad campaign.

“You know, we’re people too and we shouldn’t be told what we can and can’t do. I’m excited one company finally gets it,” Kelly said. “I’m just glad they figured out where the real market is. I’m going to tell all my friends to start chewing.”

Can Copenhagen re-brand itself and create a new demographic? Will this risky ad campaign pay off, only time will tell.

Copenhagen has set up a hotline for free samples and merchandise to anyone under the age of 21 at (785) 273-0325. A hashtag on Twitter of #DoWhatYouWant is currently trending.

Teenage Gamer Who Swatted Rival Sentenced To 25 Years To Life In Federal Prison

Gaming swatting sentenced to 25 years to life in federal prison

15-year-old Paul Horner reacting to a judges ruling which sentenced the young man to 25 years in prison on multiple domestic terrorism charges. (AP Photo/Dennis System, File) / AP

DeQuincy, LA — In a Louisiana courtroom today, 15-year-old Paul Horner broke down in tears after a judge found the young man guilty on two counts of domestic terrorism and was sentenced to twenty-five years to life in federal prison.

Horner is the first person in history to be charged with what is known as ‘swatting‘, a growing trend in which a person anonymously files a false police report, such as a murder or bomb threat, in hopes of provoking the police to raid an individual’s home or business. Prosecutors in the case proved that Horner called in multiple false threats against rival online gamers, resulting in SWAT team raids of their residence.

“Swatting” is a new fad among gamers targeting those who “livestream“, broadcasting themselves and their game play live over the Internet to fans and in-game rivals alike. If a gamer is able to ascertain the personal information of a rival, by locating their IP and residential address, they will call in a dangerous threat to law enforcement and watch as the “livestreamer’s” house is forcibly entered by police.

The practice of “SWATTING” was recently brought to national attention by the YouTube video: The Creatures (Kootra) got SWAT Raided (SWATTED) #FreeKootra2014. Law Enforcement agencies say that the practice, which has been occurring with increasing frequency since 2013, wastes valuable resources and places innocent people in harm’s way. The 2014 incident, which resulted in the charges against Horner, are a prime example of this.

Defense lawyers told the courtroom that Horner, who goes by the gamertag BadAssDwg69, was upset after being repeatedly beaten by a fellow gamer at Battlefield 4. After obtaining the rival gamers information, prosecutors say Horner called police and reported a murder/hostage situation at the home. SWAT team then raided the house, shooting and critically injuring the “Livestreamer’s” father in the process. Following an investigation of the incident, Horner was charged as an adult, using provisions of the 2001 Patriot Act. Horner’s guilty charge stems from two counts of domestic terrorism, related to his manipulation of an enforcement response, and injuries to innocents resulting from those actions.

Prosecutors played audio of Horner’s 911 phone call to the jury:

“I just shot and killed four people. If any police enter my home I will kill them too,” the statement read in part.

During closing arguments, prosecuting attorney Jack Phillips explained the state’s assessment of Horner to the jury.

“There were no victims or any evidence that a shooting had taken place,” Phillips said. “Horner’s actions are pure evil, he is a menace to society and must be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”

Horner, described as affecting a brash, “hardcore” persona while online was anything but throughout the trial. At multiple times Horner broke down into fits of sobbing hysteria and calls to his mother, to the point that the presiding Judge, Arthur Digsby, was forced to have him removed. Hearing the sentence of 25 years to life, Horner began sobbing. Judge Digsby told Horner that though he felt bad for the youth, he was ultimately responsible for his own actions.

“Ignorance of consequence because of lack of thought absolves no one”, the Judge told Horner. “Thinking that your actions were only a prank did not make them only a prank.”

Raids by SWAT teams are known as the most dangerous work law enforcement can do. On December 19th of last year, near Somerville, Texas, a SWAT team deputy was shot and killed during an attempt to serve a no-knock warrant. Just before 6:00 A.M., SWAT team members entered the home of Henry Goedrich Magee. They were there to serve a warrant which would permit the team to search the mobile home in which Magee and his pregnant girlfriend were living. Reacting to the pre-dawn, forced entry, Magee grabbed a rifle propped against a bedroom door frame and fired at the unidentified intruders, killing 31 year old sheriff’s deputy Adam Sowders.

Judge Digsby finished his sentencing as he went on to admonish anyone who would try to emulate such idiocy.

“Leave your petty pride in the realm of digital fantasy where it is still safe,” Digsby said. “Because, as young mister Horner has learned, actions in the real world don’t have a reset button. And every parent should make sure their children understand that.”

VIDEO: Teen Convicted of ‘Swatting’ Sentenced To 25 Years To Life For Domestic Terrorism

The Tent City Jail In Arizona Is Closing After 22 Years

joe arpaio tent city closing

Aerial view of Tent City which will be closing in December of this year. (AP Photo/Michael Kortas)

Phoenix, Arizona — After 22-years of controversy, the tents in Phoenix, Arizona are finally coming down.

In a unanimous decision early this morning, the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors voted in favor of closing the facility this December.

Paul Horner with the American Civil Liberties Union spoke with reporters about the closing of Tent City.

“This is a move that is long overdue, but I applaud the council for finally making that right move,” Horner told local news station ABC15. “Tent City is the definition of a human rights violation and even though they may be inmates, they deserve to be treated like human beings. Sheriff Joe Arpaio has routinely abused pre-trial detainees by feeding them moldy bread, rotten fruit and other contaminated food. Arpaio chose to house inmates in 20-year old tents, so hot as to endanger their health, denying them care for serious medical and mental health needs and keeping them packed as tightly as sardines for days at a time.”

Arpaio’s Tent City is notorious for inhumane conditions, from the food to the 118 degree heat.

On Thursday an inmate died in the tents after officers noticed the man had not shown up for work. No foul play is suspected.

According to NBC News, the Maricopa County Board of Supervisor’s main reason for shutting down the tents comes after years of protests, Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s current legal battles and pressure from lawmakers to close the facility.

Gay Wedding Mobile Vans Cashing In On The Legalization Of Gay Marriage

Since Friday, when the Supreme court ruled in favor of legalizing gay marriage, entrepreneurs around the world have been figuring out ways to cash in.

Phoenix, Arizona resident, Paul Horner told local news station ABC 15 how he got his business rolling.

“It was actually really simple,” Horner said. “I bought a van, fixed it up and added a sweet rainbow paint job. Then I went online and became an ordained minister, took me just a few minutes. Then I bought some camera equipment, flowers and some ingredients to make wedding cakes with; I’m good to go!”

Paul Horner gay marriage mobile
The Paul Horner Gay Marriage Mobile – Picture courtesy of Dennis System AP

These are interesting times and there is money in the streets. Who will be there to pick it up, I guess that is the question.

The US Mint Plans To Release Caitlyn Jenner Gold Coin

Caitlyn gold coin by the US Mint

The Caitlyn Jenner gold coin by the US Mint scheduled to be released July 4th. (AP Photo/Dennis System, File) / AP

Beginning July 4th, the US Mint will begin its limited release of Caitlyn Jenner Commemorative Gold Coins. The move is said to celebrate Caitlyn’s bravery and living the American dream.

“This coin symbolizes a shared history and friendship with the sports star,” said U.S. Mint Director Paul Horner.

The coin is legal tender and is struck from 14.1 grams of pure gold. The commemorative coin is available at the pre-issue price of $799.00 through August 4th, and $949.00 thereafter. To qualify for pre-issue discount prices, orders must be postmarked or received no later than July 4th, 2015 and a limit of 5 coins per household is strictly enforced.

The designer of the coin, Tom Downey, said he wanted to show Caitlyn in her true form.

“I wanted to capture Caitlyn in all of her beauty and grace showing just how brave she is.”

The Caitlyn Jenner gold coin can be purchased directly online at or by calling (785) 273-0325.

Fight Club 2 Announced And Begins Filming In November Of This Year

Hollywood, CA — Fight Club fans around the world are celebrating as a sequel to the cult classic has just been announced. This is the must-see movie of the decade and probably the most highly anticipated film in recent memory.

David Fincher, director of the first Fight Club movie, confirmed with E! Online that production of Fight Club 2 will begin in November of this year.

Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, and Helena Bonham Carter also return in this action packed film about underground fight clubs and soap making.

“We’re thrilled to be coming back to film a second part to this classic movie,” Fincher told reporters. “For years we’ve been staying away from doing this project but when we received this new script and the cast fell into place, it was a no-brainer. We just had to do it.”

Paul Horner, who helped write the script, spoke with CNN to shed light on the plot behind the highly anticipated sequel.

“The movie picks right back up where it left off with Edward Norton and Marla Singer holding hands with the buildings coming down all around them. What happens in that part of the movie shows Project Mayhem attempting to outrun the FBI and other law enforcement agencies, while at the same time bringing down more of the Establishment that holds our society together,” Horner said. “Now skip ahead 17 years later, a son was conceived by Norton and Singer who has risen to power and with humanity slowly returning to the stone age, tribes are formed. This child begins creating factions around the world that flourish, but problems are always just around the corner,” Horner continues. “Now fast forward 200-5,000 years and you see the many offspring of Norton’s and Singer’s offspring have turned the remaining population of the world into one and that is the life they all know and accept.”

Horner speaks further with MSNBC about Brad Pitt and his role in the sequel.

“Brad Pitt will also be returning, but as a different entity; you’ll learn about Tyler Durden’s past along with his immortality, his eternal life and the ability to live forever. Without giving away too much, there are giant pyramids and makeshift cities, and the ironic twist to it all, those have now become the corporations controlling the population, something Project Mayhem had previously fought so hard to destroy. It’s going to be a fun ride, that’s for sure.”

Also making a dramatic appearance in the movie is acting legend Bill Murray. Murray spoke with TMZ and said he is extremely excited to play a serious role in the upcoming sequel.

“I always loved the first movie, so when David Fincher offered me the role of Edward Norton’s long lost father, I couldn’t say no,” Murray said. “I’ve been fortunate enough to read the entire screenplay and I can say without a doubt, old and new fans are going to be in for a real treat.”

Fight Club 2

Film critic Jill Bryan with the New York Times says this movie should be huge.

“I’m so thrilled this project is finally happening. With a movie by the extremely talented David Fincher you just can’t go wrong. This is definitely at the top of my list for most anticipated upcoming movies.”

The sequel to the film is loosely based on a comic written by Chuck Palahniuk, who also wrote the formative novel for the original Fight Club movie. Palahuniuk told CNN about his 10-issue maxiseries that was illustrated by Cameron Stewart.

“Fight Club 2 takes place alternately in the future and the past. It picks up a decade after the ending of his original book, where the protagonist is married to equally problematic Marla Singer and has a 9-year-old son named Junior, though the narrator is failing his son in the same way his dad failed him.”

In the interview, Palahniuk says readers will learn of Tyler Durden’s true origins.

“Tyler is something that has been around for centuries and is not just this aberration that popped into Edward Norton’s mind.”

Palahniuk brings back most of the characters in the first book as well as the organization Project Mayhem, which still has its hooks in the narrator as he has to save his boy when the youngster’s life is in peril.

The original Fight Club is a 1999 film directed by David Fincher and stars Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, and Helena Bonham Carter. Norton plays the unnamed protagonist, an “everyman” who is discontented with his white-collar job. He forms a “fight club” with soap maker Tyler Durden, played by Pitt, and they are joined by men who also want to fight recreationally. The narrator becomes embroiled in a relationship with Durden and a dissolute woman, Marla Singer, played by Bonham Carter.

The scheduled release date for Fight Club 2 is the Summer of 2017.

McDonald’s To Begin Employing Only Robots To Run It’s Store In Phoenix

Phoenix, Arizona  —  A McDonald’s restaurant in is scrapping the idea of employing humans to run its new store opening in Phoenix, Arizona and going with robots.
The robots will take orders, collect money, make food, you name and they can do it.

Paul Horner, the stores manager, and only human, told CNN he will be there for customer complaints and to make sure the robots run correctly.

“I’m proud to be a part of this. It’s the first time any store or restaurant will be run entirely be robots. I can’t wait.”

Will this be a good thing for humanity? Some think it is a step in the right direction and the future of fast food. Though critics like Michelle Bernstein disagree.

“Young kids, who can’t get jobs anywhere else rely on getting a job as McDonald’s,” Bernstein told reporters. “But now with the robots running the place, all those children will remain unemployed. It’s just so sad.”

I for one welcome are new burger overlords.