Documentary By Michael Moore Called “Fappy” Scheduled For Release In December

Michael Moore talking to reporters about his upcoming documentary “Fappy”.

Hollywood, CA — Controversial filmmaker Michael Moore held a press conference to announce his new upcoming documentary that is being released in December simply titled “Fappy”.

Moore talked with reporters and explained briefly what the documentary is about. “The story follows a religious anti-masturbation organization who travels around the country preaching to school children about the harmful effects of masturbation,” Moore said. “They have a mascot who dresses in a dolphin costume that goes by the name of Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin. Fappy® along with his assistants visit various elementary schools nationwide talking to children about living a masturbation-free lifestyle. Along the way many interesting situations arise; everything from the group being banned in the state of California to Fappy® getting arrested for public masturbation.” Moore continued, “Besides all of the problems that occur, the characters are real and loving. You begin to root for this organization that you want so badly to fail.”

Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of Stop Masturbation Now told CNN he is excited about Moore’s documentary. “We’re just thrilled to have Michael Moore making a movie about what we do day in and day out. Hopefully it will bring more attention to our cause,” Childs said. “Masturbation is a gateway drug to rape. It leads to sexual dysfunction, erodes family values, and is a top ten cause of disease. What our organization does is designed to help make children and parents aware of the dangers of masturbation in and outside of the home.” Childs continued, “God willing, one day masturbation will be illegal.”

64-year old Paul Horner who is a teacher at Pansy Kidd Middle School in Poteau, Oklahoma told reporters about their experience with Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin when they visited the school back in March. “The kids just love him,” Horner said. “Fappy® makes the kids laugh and educates them at the same time. He also is quite the tickle monster and the children just love wrestling with him. We can’t wait for Fappy® to come back and visit us again!”

“Fappy” will open December 5th in a limited number of theaters and is scheduled for a nationwide release on December 19th. For more information visit fappythemovie.com.

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Director Of Kony 2012 Announces Plans For Anti-Masturbation Documentary

Jason Russell and his new anti-masturbation documentary

Jason Russell speaking to reporters today about his new anti-masturbation documentary.

San Diego, CA — Jason Russell who was the director of the Kony 2012 Youtube video that went viral one year ago today made waves again as he announced to reporters his future plans for a documentary about living a masturbation-free lifestyle. What makes this announcement so shocking is that also one year ago today Russell was detained by San Diego police for public masturbation. He was found in a state of undress and screaming incoherently.

Russell explained to reporters what made him decide to do this new documentary. “It’s been one full year now since the Kony video and the incident that happened in San Diego. I think I’m ready to face my problems and move forward from here,” Russell said. “This new documentary of mine is about leading a healthy, masturbation-free lifestyle.” Russell continued, “My inspiration for this project actually came from a children’s mascot who advocates living a life free of masturbation. I don’t think this project would have been possible without the help of my good friend Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin. Together, god willing, we can finally put an end to this horrible disease called masturbation.”

Fappy® The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin who recently kicked off a 31-city nationwide school tour on March 6th just happened to be in San Diego today talking with various schools in the area about the dangers and consequences of masturbation. “Masturbation is the devil’s playground,” Fappy® told reporters. “By getting to the children when they’re young and before they’ve had a chance to rape themselves, that’s when you can truly make a difference. Fappy® and friends are just thrilled to be helping Jason with his new documentary and look forward to it’s completion.”

Russell’s anti-masturbation documentary will begin filming next month and will be released to schools nationwide sometime next year. His Kony 2012 video received more than 83 million views on YouTube in the first two weeks of its online release. It quickly became the subject of intensive media scrutiny and criticism. The video’s subject matter was about the Ugandan rebel leader Joseph Kony, his alleged war crimes, and the movement to bring him to the International Criminal Court.

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