Mitt Romney’s Economic Plan Unveiled Today In Washington

The Ass Press
Posted: 09/29/2012 6:00:14 PM PDT

Mitt Romney laid out his groundbreaking economic plan to fix the economy at a press conference today in Washington.Washington, DC — Mitt Romney held a press conference today to announce his full-proof plan to fix the economy once in office. “We can completely eliminate poverty and most of the lower class just by simply lowering the requirements to be in the middle class,” Romney told reporters. “Being part of the middle class usually means your household as a whole makes an annual income of $50-$100k a year. By decreasing this number to only $4-$5k a year, that means there would no longer be a lower class. Problem solved.”

Paul Horner who is a senior political analyst for FOX News said that he is glad Romney finally unveiled his economic plans for recovery and approves of his message. “Up to this point is has been unclear of Romney’s exact plans to fix the economy,” said Horner. “But after these genius ideas of his today, I can see our current recession ending immediately and the United States returning to the super power it once was.” Horner continued, “Can you imagine a United States with almost 95% less of a lower class and the economy rebounding virtually overnight? We would once again return to the great country that we used to be when George Bush was in office.”

Romney spoke about the current state of the nation’s poor and his plans to fix the economy. “Obama wants to give the lower class free everything for the rest of their lives. He wants to keep them at that poverty level, where they feel they are entitled to housing, food, health care, classic insurance, you name it. But not me, I want to help them,” Romney said. “I say empower these individuals with that feeling of accomplishment. They will join the ranks of the working middle class and will have no problem paying for all the stuff they were receiving for free when they were at those old poverty levels.”

Walter White who is the campaign manager for Romney agrees with the new plans laid out by the presidential nominee. “It’s absolutely brilliant! Overnight Romney will eliminate trillions of dollars that is currently being wasted on programs meant for just the lower class. Imagine how much more useful that money would be in spending it on things like wars?” White continued, “Wars aren’t cheap and with all the extra funds collected from Romney’s economic plan it would ensure that we could bomb any country we wanted to without a moments notice. How cool would that be?”

36-year old Becky Lynn Daniels from Dequincy, Louisiana has been on disability since 2003 after a car accident paralyzed her from the waist down. She told reporters that she is excited about possibly joining the ranks of the middle class. “Before with all the handouts I was receiving, I was just barely getting by. I was definitely part of the lower class. I was in a wheel chair and I couldn’t work,” Daniels said. “But if I could join the middle class, I think I would finally have a chance to succeed in life. I could see myself getting a job as a ticket-taker at a movie theater or something. It might be hard to pay for rent, utilities, food, transportation, clothing, doctor bills and medications, but I know Mr. Romney would be there rooting for me.” Daniels paused and visibly shed a tear,”Mitt Romney is truly a great and compassionate man.”

  • Mitt Romney’s New Economic Plan 24-Hour Hotline: (785) 273-0325

Comments

  1. Mitt Romney now has my vote! No more poor people in this country! YAY!

    • I’m not sure this would actually work. I’m pretty sure the people would still be poor, but would just be in a different class. Nothing would change though I’m thinking. But I’m not a math wizard so I could be wrong.

  2. Mitt Romney is the man! He could save America, we all just need to vote for him.

  3. It’s about damn time Romney told America how he is going to fix the country. I for one don’t think this idea of his will work. But at least it’s out there now. Unlike Obama who still hasn’t produced his birth certificate… fickin’ Muslim. Makes me sick!

  4. David Anderson says:

    I think this could work! Mitt Romney 2012!

  5. Thats not going to help those people survive. They will still need food and housing and medical care. I am on disability do to several illnesse, and I need my medicare as it is the only insurance I have. I have heart failure, fybromyalgia, diabetes, lupus, Diabetic neuropathy, severe degenerative arthritis, and I was going to vote for romney but maybe not now. He actually doesnt care and probably wants to kill us off cause thats what stopping my medicare and meds would do, kill me

  6. I don’t know if this plan of Romney’s would work, but I’m still voting for him. Anything is better than that Muslim, no having birth certificate, Socialist in the White House

  7. Dave Jenkins says:

    Call me crazy, but I like this idea of Romney’s. It’s time the poor people get their act together. He’s got my vote!

  8. Not so stupi says:

    Are you kidding me???!!!??? Telling “poor” people they are now ” middle class” is going to fix the economy? Wow, show just how stupid this man thinks people are. Yea you will still be poor but no longer qualify for any kind of help and still NOT be able to afford anything…including FOOD, for some people. What is this world coming to? Truly religious people believe that money does not belong to us but God, and we are supposed to “help” people in need!! Whatever happened to those beliefs, “religious republicans”. Sounds like pure money greed! Obama may not be the best choice but this Romney guy seems like a pure evil person.

  9. You have got to be kidding me… Mitt Romney is such a joke. I would never vote for this guy.

  10. this maks sens to me…. Romney 2012!

  11. This is bullsh*t! Romney just lost my vote

  12. Dancing Mad says:

    Heh. It looks like the bear is whispering into his ear.

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