Mitt Romney To Legalize Marijuana And Gay Marriage, Once In Office

The Ass Press
Posted: 07/26/2012 6:00:49 AM PDT

Mitt Romney hates gay rights and marijuanaWashington, DC. — Marijuana users and advocates for gay marriage around the country are celebrating after Mitt Romney once again pledged his hatred for marijuana and gay rights at a press conference this afternoon. In an era of ‘say one thing to get elected and then do the complete opposite once in office’, judging from the current promises made by Romney on the campaign trail, marijuana and gay marriage will be 100% legal in all 50 states if he does get elected.

This winning strategy reminds voters of Obama back in 2008 when he vowed to be extremely lenient on marijuana laws and let the states decide the legal status of the plant. Since then voters have learned that he has become by far the strictest president in over 20+ years on marijuana laws. He has dispatched the DEA into every state that has legalized the plant, raiding houses and dispensaries, and put thousands of people in prison.

Avid marijuana user Paul Horner said he’s delighted to hear of Mitt Romney’s tough stance on marijuana. “I sure hope he gets elected. With how much he’s been talking about marijuana like it’s a bath salt zombie apocalypse, I know he’ll make legalizing it the first item on his agenda if elected president. My fellow potheads and I are voting for him for sure!”

Eric Burns who is an editor for the New York Times says that besides Romney legalizing marijuana and gay marriage once in office, he’ll be doing a lot more too. “This also means Romney will end the War in Afghanistan on his first day in office. It’s tough to say now, but it appears Romney is the candidate to vote for in 2012.”

Dean Huls is a political adviser for Mitt Romney and approves of him using the ‘Obama strategy’ to get elected. “Obama was a learning experience for a lot of us,” Huls said. “Everything Obama promised while running for President in 2008 he has gone ahead and done the complete opposite. He guaranteed to stop the wars, he then continued the wars. He said he would lock up the bad guys on Wall Street, he then bailed out all the bad guys on Wall Street. He talked about being lenient on marijuana laws, then made it a priority to lock up marijuana users. Obama promised the idea of more personal freedoms but then signed NDAA which allows the government to indefinitely detain American citizens with no trial or jury. He said he would close Guantanamo Bay, kept Guantanamo Bay open. The list goes on and on and on.” Huls continued, “Mitt Romney is using the ‘Obama strategy’ to get into the White House and it might just be crazy enough to work. Unfortunately for him though, Obama will also be using the ‘Obama strategy’. I think it’s safe to say this race is far from over.”


  1. Legalize marijuana and gay marriage! End the wars! Romney 2012!!!!

    • cristina barley says:

      on this other website mitt romney says he will not legalize marijuana because it causes crime and he syas there is other ways to help people get relief from pain.

  2. Sarah H says:

    I like this strategy of Romney’s…. it’s just crazy enough to work

  3. Austin Donnelly says:

    Did anyone even read the article? It says he’s using the ‘Obama strategy’, meaning he’s going to say one thing and turn around and do the opposite. MEANING if he gets into office, Romney will not only NOT legalize gay marriage and marijuana, he’s going to eliminate what little ground we’ve gained on both of those matters. With him in the white house, neither of them will ever see the light of day. Obama may be far from the best president, but he surpasses bigoted, homophobic Romney by far.
    Obama 2012!!

  4. Lamers mca says:

    Mitt is ok in my book now

  5. Stance Punk says:

    It’s on the internetz so it MUST be true, right?

  6. Ron Paul 2012 says:

    Hypocrites is what they all are. Sheeple. I don’t care whose elected I’m just going to keep doing me as long as the police get off my back. Congress better get its shit together or there will be a riot.

  7. I’m all for legal marijuana but come on people. He obviously wants to keep it illegal and is using bs articles like this to gain even more votes.

    PS obama sucks too, no matter who wins the election, America will still lose

  8. These are truly great ideas in on the topic of Mitt Romney and Obama. You have touched some good points here. Any way keep up the great wrinting.


  1. Ben Davis says:

    F*ck Mitt Romney forever

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