President Obama Raising The Minimum Drinking Age To 24 In October

Obama raising the minimum drinking age to 24

Obama announced his decision to raise the minimum drinking age to 24 in a press conference at the White House today. (AP Photo/Dennis System, File) / AP

Washington, DC — In a press conference at the White House today, President Barack Obama announced his controversial decision to raise the minimum drinking age from 21 to 24 years of age.

“We need to work harder to protect the young people in this country,” Obama told reporters. “Our young folks are dying from alcohol related deaths at all-time record numbers. It is our job as parents to safeguard our children from these kinds of dangers.” Obama continued, “That is why beginning October 1st , all alcohol related purchases will be required to be made by individuals 24-years-old or older. This will benefit everyone and make America a safer place.”

Small business owners around the country were up in arms after Obama made the announcement. “This is absolutely ridiculous,” said 35-year-old Paul Horner, owner of a popular drinking establishment in Phoenix, Arizona called The Lost Leaf. “We rely heavily on the business that the 21-23 crowd provide. This new law enforcing a minimum drinking age of 24 will destroy our business and others just like it. Obama needs to reconsider his actions before real harm is done.”

There has been controversy for years whether 21 is too young to buy alcohol and make decisions.


53-year-old Martha Carlson of MADD said the group is thrilled with the news. “This is a great thing that President Obama has done. Research has shown time and time again that a higher drinking age would save thousands of lives every year. This is due to fewer alcohol-related traffic fatalities among underage drivers and all the health related incidents that would be avoided. This is his legacy, by far his greatest achievement ever. Praise Obama!”

Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky told CNN he does not agree with Obama and his announcement to raise the minimum drinking age. “By not putting this for a vote in front of Congress, Obama has clearly defied everything the Constitution stands for,” Paul said. “We can not let this man stomp all over the legal process in this country.”

The minimum age debate began in 1971 when Congress dropped the voting age from 21 to 18. After that many states followed suit and lowered the drinking age to 18 as well.

By 1980, more than half the states in the U.S. had lowered their minimum drinking age, usually from 21 to 18. But when research showed an increase in traffic fatalities in these states, things began to revert back.

On July 17, 1984, President Ronald Reagan signed the National Minimum Drinking Age Act which set the minimum drinking age to 21. Reports found that teens get drunk twice as fast as adults and have more trouble knowing when to stop. The research proved that teens overdo it with alcohol and binge drink more often than adults. The law was created to reduce traffic crashes, protect young people’s health, and keep people safer overall.

Myron Danus, spokesman for the International Center for Alcohol Policies or ICAP told Fox News he believes things are going backwards with today’s decision by the Administration. “If kids can die protecting their country, they should be able to drink a beer. What Obama has done is just plain wrong but I guess only time will tell.”

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First Gay Marriage To Be Held At The White House

Obama and the Muslim Brotherhood


President Obama, seen here with his brother, Malik Obama from Kenya, is just one member of the Muslim Brotherhood who plans to attend the gay wedding between Michael Sam and Vito Cammisano to be held at the White House. (AP Photo/Michael Kortas)

Washington, DC — In what is being dubbed as the “Wedding Of The Century”, openly-gay football star of the St. Louis Rams, Michael Sam and his long-time boyfriend, Vito Cammisano, are to be married at the White House, with President Barack Obama overseeing the Muslim themed event.

At a press conference on Saturday, Obama spoke with reporters about the gay wedding to be held at the White House.

“These are amazing times my friends. I am proud to be part of an era where two grown men can fall in love, and have it accepted by the majority of the American citizens. What better place to join these two men in holy matrimony than the White House,” Obama said. “I am thrilled to be a part of this historic event.”

President Obama has long been a staunch supporter of gay rights, even signing the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act in 2009.


Muhammad El-Sayed, who is a member of the Muslim Brotherhood’s Freedom and Justice Party told CNN that he is pleased with Obama and his actions. “I spoke with President Obama by telephone yesterday after his announcement and personally thanked him for what he is doing. Not just for the Muslim community, but for all non-Christians living in this country”, El-Sayed said. “We need to make this Muslim-themed wedding absolutely amazing, even if it is between two men. Praise Allah.”

Others were not so supportive of the gay wedding to be held at the White House. Michele Bachmann told Fox News, “This is everything that is wrong with America. Our country was founded as a Christian nation, and that’s a fact! The Holy Bible tells us that marriage is between a man and a woman. These people are making a mockery of this sacred, heterosexual union. What’s next, a toaster and a man getting married? A dog and a woman getting married? Giving homosexuals the right to marry is a slippery slope, and Obama should be ashamed of himself. What kind of message does this send to the young people of today?”

Tax payers are also a bit miffed at the wedding expenses, which are expected to be in the millions. All the guests will be put up at local Washington DC five star hotel, The Jefferson and flown in by private jet.


Members of the guest list include, Ellen Degeneres, Neil Patrick Harris, George Clooney, Malik Obama, Paul Horner and leaders from both the Muslim Brotherhood, and LGBTQ groups. Entertainment will be a healthy mix of pop, and traditional Muslim tunes from such acts as Kanye West, Yusuf Islam, Seven 8 Six and Beyonce Knowles.

Obama will serve as the “Maulavi“, which is the Islamic version of an ordained minister. The Commander And Chief will also perform the entire ceremony, called a “Nikaah“, in his native Islamic tongue, and he and his wife, Michelle Obama, will be robed in traditional Muslim clothing.

Sam’s fiance, Vito Cammisano, 23-year-old grandson of late Mafia boss William (Willie the Rat) Cammisano — who reportedly got his name for the way he disposed of bodies — and the son of Gerlarmo Cammisano, 60, who followed in the family’s business and ended up doing prison time for running a Kansas City-based gambling ring, according to records. Vito converted to Islam two years ago, and has since gone onto disassociate himself from his family and their alleged mob-ties.

Sam, who came out during interviews with ESPN and The New York Times in February was selected by the Rams as the 249th overall pick in the 2014 NFL Draft.



Arizona’s Sheriff Joe Withholding Food From Inmates For The Holidays

Joe Arpaio not feeding inmates not feeding inmates for the holiday.

Joe Arpaio making a surprise visit to one of his jails this year.

Phoenix, AZ — The controversial sheriff in Arizona, Joe Arpaio, is once again making national headlines. This time the sheriff is refusing to feed inmates for the holiday season beginning the morning of December 25th and ending midnight on December 31st. The sheriff is also putting a halt to all commissary sales during these days. Prisoners will not be allowed to purchase or eat any food regardless if it was purchased before the 25th.

Activists protested outside of the auditorium in downtown Phoenix where Arpaio held a press conference to announce the news. “Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights. The inmates here can do a week,” chuckled Arpaio. “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.”

These kinds of publicity stunts are nothing new for Arpaio who has sparked controversy in the past for his treatment of inmates. Such things as mandatory pink underwear for inmates, the first all-female chain gang and replacing all meat products with soy are all credited to Arpaio.

Paul Horner with the American Civil Liberties Union said Arpaio has gone too far this time. “This is the definition of a human rights violation. They may be inmates but they deserve to be treated properly and that includes such basic human necessities such as food and water,” Horner said. “More than 98% of the inmates at Tent City are there for non-violent crimes or probation violation. This is just more Arpaio antics aimed to show-off in front of the media while prisoners suffer.”

“I hope the inmates give thanks for the meals they won’t be eating for a week,” Arpaio’s said. “I hope this will help them get in the holiday spirit. They’ll be outside in their cots, freezing weather, dreaming of Santa Claus bringing them food for their hungry belly,” Arpaio laughed.

The official Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office website features a bio of Arpaio that touts his accomplishments in providing inmates with “the cheapest meals in the U.S.” by feeding inmates “only twice daily, to cut the labor costs of meal delivery.” Arpaio has “even stopped serving them salt and pepper” to save taxpayer money, according to the bio.

Arpaio recently implemented a vegetarian diet for inmates in an effort to save $100,000 on food costs for prisoners. He also announced in March a plan to charge inmates $1 for their meals. Currently the average meal for an inmate in a Maricopa County jail costs between 15 and 40 cents according to the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office website.

India Ends Diplomatic Relations With The U.S. Over Satirical Article

Rape Festival in India

Image of the Assam Rape Festival news article on the National Report website.

Assam, INDIA — People in India are outraged by a satirical article that appeared on an American website reporting a rape festival taking place in India’s northeastern state of Assam. “We rape the evil demons out of the girls, otherwise they will cheat on us and we will be forced to kill them. So it is a win-win for everyone,” says the article published by the National Report.

Daarun Gupta who is the Assistant Commissioner of the Assam Police CID’s cyber crime cell told reporters the Indian Government has taken up a sue moto case holding the National Report and the author of the story accountable.

“It is a sensitive issue that clearly violates India’s cyber crime statutes and we have taken up the matter with the public prosecutor in New Delhi,” Gupta said. “We have requested an arrest warrant for the author and are asking the United States Government for extradition rights so that he may be prosecuted to the fullest extent of India law.” Gupta continued, “We are working around the clock with our top government officials, police agencies and lawyers to makes sure all parties are held accountable. This injustice will not go unpunished.”
Dr. Manmohan Singh who is the Prime Minister of India on Twitter posting about the Rape Festival
Today Dr. Manmohan Singh who is the Prime Minister of India held a press conference to address the issue. “This defiant act against the great people of India will not be tolerated, America has gone too far this time. This rape festival story is not funny whatsoever. The country of India is ending it’s diplomatic relations with the United States until we have received a sincere apology from President Barack Obama. The sacred country of India demands satisfaction!”

The National Report who published the article said the story was meant to highlight the very serious issue of rape in India while at the same time raising money for the woman of India through a charity called Give India, which is listed at the bottom of the article. While the story has led to all kinds of threats of violence and criminal/legal action against the author and site owner, one group from India returened the favor by publishing a story about America titled, “The Great American Mass Shooting Festival Begins Next Week” which has since gone viral.

Since the article appeared on the National Report website, GiveIndia.org who is the charity promoted at the bottom of the article has received over 2,000 unique visitors. The charity gives 90% – 95% of the money that is donated directly to the cause of helping women in India. This money provides them with proper education, shelter, food, help in getting out of abusive relationships, rape counseling and much more. GiveIndia.org is in no way associated with or responsible for the story or the views expressed in it.


34-year-old Jimmy Rustling from Phoenix, Arizona who is the author of the article told CNN the story was meant to raise awareness about the serious issue of rape in India while raising money for the woman that live there. “My story is an exaggeration of the truth. Most woman in India can’t get help or contact the police. If they get raped it shames their family, or the court finds that it was their fault because of the way they dressed, or they don’t believe in god hard enough, or there wasn’t enough witnesses, or they get stoned to death by reporting the rape, the list goes on and on. I can only imagine how many reported rapes there would actually be in India if they treated woman like human beings, having the same rights as men, instead of objects that are married slaves. Hopefully my article is a wake-up call to them. Get tough on rape India, stop allowing men to do this, this is what most of the world thinks of you. There could never be a “Dallas Rape Festival”, that would make no sense. Yes, there is rape that happens in the city of Dallas, but are they known for that? Of course not. It wouldn’t make any sense.” Rustling continues, “We only approved comments that believed the hoax. That was only 50 comments out of 10,000 or more. It’s my story and I feel the comments add to it. You can’t just ruin it for everybody by letting them know it’s a hoax. Also, I wrote at least 25 out of those 50 comments just to get things going. So that leaves just 25 comments by really stupid people. Watch out when you’re walking in a cross walk or on the street, basically whenever you’re outside your house. You never know who you will run into or how low their IQ will be.”

The “India Rape Festival” was posted on November 2nd and went viral with various social media outlets. As of today the story has over four hundred shares on Facebook. Mr. Rustling went into hiding early Friday morning fearing for his life but not before stating, “Can’t we all just get along?”

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WANT TO HELP THE WOMEN IN INDIA? THEN DO SOMETHING!

Giveindia.org gives 90%-95% of the money that you donate directly to the cause of helping women in India. This money provides them with proper education, shelter, food, help in getting out of abusive relationships, rape counseling and much more! NOTE: GiveIndia.org is in no way associated with or responsible for this article or the views expressed in it.

Click here to donate

Funny news

UPDATE 11/9/13: Woman of India, it’s your fault.

UPDATE 11/13/13:
Top India police official says, “If you can’t prevent rape, you enjoy it.”


Porn Found On ObamaCare Website

Porn images and pornography found on the ObamaCare website

Users of Healthcare.gov report finding pornographic material on a number of their signup pages.

Washington, DC — More bad news for ObamaCare as users of its website Healthcare.gov report finding pornographic material on a number of their signup pages. CGI Federal, the IT contractor responsible for the site said the obscene content was uploaded by a disgruntled employee.

Ken Renynolds who is a spokesman for CGI Federal told CNN the problem with the site has been resolved. “This is an isolated incident,” Reynolds said. “The employee responsible for the obscene material has since been terminated. One bad apple does not speak for an entire company. I assure the American people that their privacy and information is safe and secure as always.”

The graphic material was viewable Friday evening between 8PM – 9PM PST. Users reported the images to customer support which then had the content removed from the server.

This is not the first problem CGI Federal and the ObamaCare website has had since going live. Following the October 1, 2013 launch of open-registration under the Affordable Care Act (ACA), the company came under intense media scrutiny after users were prevented from logging in and signing up. Many Americans have also complained of increased rate hikes due to their old insurance plan being canceled.

CGI Federal won the $93.7 million Healthcare.gov job over 3 other companies in 2011. CGI Federal is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Canadian firm CGI Group, which was founded in Quebec City in 1976 by Serge Godin and Andre Imbeau.

Warning: Graphic material – Screenshots of the pornographic images on Healthcare.gov which have since been removed – Click image to enlarge

Porn on ObamaCare website
Porn on ObamaCare website
Porn on ObamaCare website

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10 Reasons Why ObamaCare Will Destroy The Country

Facts about ObamaCare that everyone needs to know

Repeal ObamaCare before it destroys America.

The information being provided by the Obama administration about ObamaCare is not just confusing but is dead wrong. As a true American we must come together and stand up for our civil liberties. It is our job as Americans to inform others about the facts behind this corrupt health care system. When it comes to the well being of Americans, there is no room for opinions and rhetoric.

Here are 10 reasons why ObamaCare will destroy the country:

1) ObamaCare cuts income and jobs
According to CNN, ObamaCare has already put 4.2 million Americans out of work and turned 29 million full-time employees into part-time employees. How many more jobs and hours need to be cut before the rest of America wakes up?

2) Undocumented immigrants and Muslims get free insurance
This is already creating problems in states that are along the Mexico–United States border. Governor Jan Brewer from Arizona told MSNBC last week, “The #1 problem in our state right now is ObamaCare. The reason we have so many Mexicans and Muslims running rampant is because they are getting free healthcare. I would want to come to this great country of ours too if I was getting free health care. ObamaCare must be stopped before it bankrupts America.”

3) ObamaCare kills people
Michele Bachmann said it best, “Let’s repeal this failure before it literally kills women, kills children, kills senior citizens. Let’s not do that. Let’s love people. Let’s care about people. Let’s repeal it now while we can.”

4) The 2.3% Medical Excise Tax applies to sporting goods and fishing supplies
The medical excise tax applies to non-medical items such as archery and sport fishing equipment, tires, coal, and “gas guzzling” automobiles. The 2.3% Medical Excise Tax that began on January 1st is supposed to be “hidden” from the consumer, but it’s been brought to the public’s attention by hunting and fishing store Cabela’s who have refused to hide it and are showing it as a separate line item tax on their receipts.

5) The government will be picking your doctors
According to H.R. 3200 (ObamaCare), “The Government will select the doctor of the individual being provided health care no matter what other conditions may apply.” That is not capitalism or even socialism, that is a dictatorship.

6) ObamaCare is the largest tax hike in American history
A July 2010 article by FactCheck concluded that “as measured by the rather useless yardstick of raw dollars, with no adjustment for inflation,” the Affordable Care Act will be the largest tax hike in U.S. history. At $76.8 billion in 2014, the law would be the largest one-year tax increase in raw dollars since 1968.

7) Senior’s insurance will change
Grandma and grandpa will have little to no care according to recent reports. Euthanasia and death panels will become an everyday happening. Say goodbye to anyone over the age of 50 before it’s too late.

8) Your privacy is not intact
The ObamaCare website, Healthcare.gov, which cost tax payers $634,000,000, does not use HIPPA. The site allows companies and individuals to use your information without your consent. This is not the dream envisioned by the founding fathers.

9) Premiums will go up
According to the Congressional Budget Office, premiums will increase at least 26%. Each state is different but in CA, MD & NY, to name three, premiums will increase between 30 & 50%.

10) ObamaCare is socialism
We can all see the terrible job the government schools are doing with educating our children. We do not want the same lousy system running our health care. Everything the government does costs four times more and provides less service than a private company could do. As a god fearing, country loving, pro-gun, American patriot it is your job to learn the  FACTS about ObamaCare. Educate others before it is too late!

Obama Uses Own Money To Open Muslim Museum Amid Government Shutdown

Obama uses own money to open the International Museum of Muslim Cultures in Jackson, Mississippi

The International Museum of Muslim Cultures in Jackson, Mississippi.

Washington, DC — While up to 800,000 federal workers faced life without a paycheck as Day One of the government shutdown kicked in, President Barack Obama held a press conference to announce that he is using his own money to open the federally funded International Museum of Muslim Cultures.

“During this shutdown, people will have to deal with some of their favorite parks and museums being closed,” Obama told reporters. “Just keep in mind, they will always be there. The Grand Canyon and the Smithsonian are not going anywhere.” Obama continued, “The International Museum of Muslim Cultures is sacred. That is why I have taken it upon myself to use my own personal funds to re-open this historic piece of American culture.”

The International Museum of Muslim Cultures closed its doors Tuesday as parts of the federal government shut down after Congress failed to reach an agreement on spending. On Monday, the Senate rejected the latest budget proposal from the House of Representatives. The fiscal standoff stems in large part from Republican attempts to block President Obama’s healthcare initiative.

“The Muslim community deserves our full acceptance and respect,” Obama said. “We have killed millions of Muslims overseas since the September 11th attacks. They are not all bad. In fact most of them are good. So during this shutdown, now is a great time to learn about the faith of Islam. I encourage all of you to celebrate the Muslim community, the ‘Sunnah’ and the magic of the ‘Quran’. All of this can be found at the newly re-opened International Museum of Muslim Cultures.”

Khaled Matei who is a member of the Muslim Brotherhood‘s Freedom and Justice Party told CNN he is pleased with Obama and his actions. “I spoke with President Obama by telephone yesterday and personally thanked him for what he is doing for the Muslim community,” Matei said. “This is definitely a step in the right direction I explained to him. Praise Allah.”

Obama finished the press conference explaining to reporters how thrilled he is to see the museum open again. “Folks, this is a time to focus on things that are important to us in America. Sure, we would all like to see the government open, it just is not that simple. What is simple is me funding the  International Museum of Muslim Cultures so that it can stay open during this horrible time in our nation’s history, all thanks to the echo chamber which is called the Tea Party.”

The International Museum of Muslim Cultures is located at 201 E Pascagoula Street in Jackson, Mississippi. It is open Tuesday – Friday from 10:00 am – 5:00 pm. The museum is closed Friday from 1:00 pm – 3:00 pm in observance of the Jumah Prayer.

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Obama Declares November National Muslim Appreciation Month

Obama announces Muslim appreciation month for November

President Obama announcing the month of November to officially be ‘National Muslim Appreciation Month’.

Washington, DC — President Barack Obama held a press conference to announce that he is declaring the month of November ‘National Muslim Appreciation Month’.

“The Muslim community deserves our full acceptance and respect,” Obama told reporters. “We have killed millions of Muslims overseas since the September 11th attacks. They are not all bad. In fact most of them are good. So from now on, November will be a month to celebrate the Muslim community, the Sunnah and the Quran.”

Khaled Matei who is a member of the Muslim Brotherhood‘s Freedom and Justice Party told CNN he is pleased with Obama and his actions. “I spoke with President Obama by telephone yesterday and personally thanked him for what he is doing for the Muslim community,” Matei said. “This is definitely a step in the right direction I explained to him. Praise Allah.”

Obama informed reporters about his future plans for helping Muslims around the world. “I will be working with Congress in making it easier for Muslims to earn a Green Card and achieve American citizenship,” Obama said. “Currently as it stands, obtaining a Visa or Green Card for a Muslim is very difficult. There are too many background checks in place and I plan to fix that.” Obama continued, “Muslims are hardworking people who are just looking to live the American Dream like the rest of us. Mr. Matei of the Muslim Brotherhood assured me they want to come to this country to help us, not harm us.”

Obama finished the press conference by explaining to reporters how happy he was with America. “Folks, there is no way we could have had a ‘National Muslim Appreciation Month’ 20 years ago. That really says a lot about the growth and progress of this great country.”

‘National Muslim Appreciation Month’ begins November 1st and will end at midnight on November 30th. For any questions or comments please contact the 24-hour National Muslim Appreciation Hotline at (785) 273-0325.

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Utah City Makes Porn Illegal – 30 Days In Jail For First Offense

Porn banned in St. George, Utah

A sign in front of a restaurant in downtown St. George.

St. George, UT — One city in Utah has decided it has had enough porn in their town and is taking the drastic measure of banning all pornography along with making it a criminal offense. In a unanimous decision by the city council of St. George, Utah, a law was passed making the possession of any pornographic related material in the city limits a crime punishable by 30 days in jail.

Mayor Arthur McDaniel told CNN he is excited about the new law. “It’s time a city steps up and sets a precedent that this disgusting filth that has plagued this great country of ours for generations will no longer be tolerated,” McDaniel said. “Pornography is a defiant act against Jesus and his teachings. The rest of the country can keep their heads in the sand about this smut and corruption to our children, but not the great city of St. George. I can only hope and pray other cities and states follow suit.”

The ban on pornography in St George takes effect November 1st of this year. Sheriff Paul Covington explained to reporters about the criminal implementation of the upcoming ban. “Our police force will be targeting anyone selling, distributing or using pornographic material including but not limited to magazines, toys, movies and of course the internet; basically anything that is porn related. Anyone in violation of this new law will be subject to a jail sentence of no less than 30 days,” Covington said. “We will also be removing certain produce from our grocery stores; we know all the tricks of a sexual deviant.”

48-year-old St. George resident Myron Danus told reporters he does not approve of the ban. “I don’t care if this is a Mormon backwards state or not, this is a free country and I can watch porn if I damn well please,” Danus said. “If I want to watch naked girls, that’s my business. I’ll be the first one down there in front of the courthouse with a Playboy magazine in one hand and tub of Vaseline in the other.”

According to recent porn data usage released by pornhub.com; the average visit duration time of a resident in Utah is a little over ten minutes. The top three porn searches for Utah is ‘compilation’, ‘teen’ and ‘hentai’.

The town of St. George has a population of 75,561 as of the 2012 census and is located in the southwestern part of Utah on the Arizona border. So far state officials in Utah have yet to make a formal statement concerning the ban on pornography.

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Gay-To-Straight Program To Be Implemented In All Virginia Public School Curriculums Beginning September 1st

Fappy® The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin seen here speaking to children about the dangers of masturbation.

Fappy® The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin seen here speaking to children about the dangers and consequences of masturbation is teaming up with ‘People Can Change’ in Virginia to help put an end to homosexuality in students grades K-12.

Richmond, VA — Beginning September 1st of this year, the state of Virginia is implementing a mandatory school program designed for all children grades K-12 to help homosexual males and females choose to become straight. The gay-to-straight conversion therapy treatment will be used in all of Virginia’s 2,186 public school curriculums and is already gathering a large amount of criticism as well as those who approve of the new program.

Paul Horner who is the brain child behind People Can Change spoke with Fox News about their plan to help all the gay children of Virginia. “Since 2000 ‘People Can Change‘ has been helping thousands of adults resolve their unwanted same-sex attractions. We bring the gay demons out of these individuals so they can become who god intended them to be. Our success and track record speaks for itself,” Horner said. “Facing the reality that you have unwanted homosexual feelings can cause tremendous turmoil – especially as a child whose feelings conflict with deeply held values, beliefs and life goals. But there is a way out. A path that leads them to resolve rather than fight their homosexual feelings. A path to authentic brotherhood and to our innate heterosexual masculinity.” Horner continued, “Our program with adults has been so successful over the years and thanks to Governor Bob McDonnell we will now be able to help all of the gay children in Virginia too.”

Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell who signed off on the the ‘People Can Change’ gay-to-straight conversion therapy treatment told CNN he is excited about the program. “A child has to choose to become gay because god would never create a homosexual. It’s a choice, not something they were born with – and that is a proven fact,” McDonnell said. “Can you imagine how much more productive these ‘now-straight’ children will be not always being bullied or wondering why god made them defective? Gay children will finally be able to learn who they truly are for once in their lives.” McDonnell continued, “What we are doing is monumental. I can only hope and pray that other states follow suit.”

Beau Hough who is the Senior Gay Development Analyst at ‘People Can Change’ told reporters about the exciting plans waiting in store for all the gay children of Virginia. “We have hired Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin from the organization Stop Masturbation Now to come in and speak with all of suspected gay students in Virginia. Having a dolphin mascot will loosen the tension for the children as they are told that if they continue to choose to be gay, they will then start masturbating and then will go to Hell for eternity in the afterlife.” Hough continued, “There’s nothing gayer than a male causing a penis to ejaculate, whether or not it’s his own. We will put an end to this horrible and evil travesty once and for all, just as Jesus would want it.”

Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of ‘Stop Masturbation Now’ said he is excited about the chance to help gay children in Virginia. “Homosexuality and masturbation is a gateway drug to rape,” Childs told reporters. “It leads to sexual dysfunction, erodes family values, and is a top ten cause of disease,” Childs said. “God willing, one day homosexuality and masturbation will be illegal.”

The organization ‘People Can Change’ is located in Ruckersville, Virginia. The group has gay-to-straight conversion facilities all around the country and has been in operation since May of 2000. ‘People Can Change’ can be contacted at 1-434-227-9346 or by email at rich@peoplecanchange.com.

National Report attempted to contact the Superintendent of Public Instruction for comment but as of press time had received no response.

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