Archives for August 2013

Gay-To-Straight Program To Be Implemented In All Virginia Public School Curriculums Beginning September 1st

Fappy® The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin seen here speaking to children about the dangers of masturbation.

Fappy® The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin seen here speaking to children about the dangers and consequences of masturbation is teaming up with ‘People Can Change’ in Virginia to help put an end to homosexuality in students grades K-12.

Richmond, VA — Beginning September 1st of this year, the state of Virginia is implementing a mandatory school program designed for all children grades K-12 to help homosexual males and females choose to become straight. The gay-to-straight conversion therapy treatment will be used in all of Virginia’s 2,186 public school curriculums and is already gathering a large amount of criticism as well as those who approve of the new program.

Paul Horner who is the brain child behind People Can Change spoke with Fox News about their plan to help all the gay children of Virginia. “Since 2000 ‘People Can Change‘ has been helping thousands of adults resolve their unwanted same-sex attractions. We bring the gay demons out of these individuals so they can become who god intended them to be. Our success and track record speaks for itself,” Horner said. “Facing the reality that you have unwanted homosexual feelings can cause tremendous turmoil – especially as a child whose feelings conflict with deeply held values, beliefs and life goals. But there is a way out. A path that leads them to resolve rather than fight their homosexual feelings. A path to authentic brotherhood and to our innate heterosexual masculinity.” Horner continued, “Our program with adults has been so successful over the years and thanks to Governor Bob McDonnell we will now be able to help all of the gay children in Virginia too.”

Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell who signed off on the the ‘People Can Change’ gay-to-straight conversion therapy treatment told CNN he is excited about the program. “A child has to choose to become gay because god would never create a homosexual. It’s a choice, not something they were born with – and that is a proven fact,” McDonnell said. “Can you imagine how much more productive these ‘now-straight’ children will be not always being bullied or wondering why god made them defective? Gay children will finally be able to learn who they truly are for once in their lives.” McDonnell continued, “What we are doing is monumental. I can only hope and pray that other states follow suit.”

Beau Hough who is the Senior Gay Development Analyst at ‘People Can Change’ told reporters about the exciting plans waiting in store for all the gay children of Virginia. “We have hired Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin from the organization Stop Masturbation Now to come in and speak with all of suspected gay students in Virginia. Having a dolphin mascot will loosen the tension for the children as they are told that if they continue to choose to be gay, they will then start masturbating and then will go to Hell for eternity in the afterlife.” Hough continued, “There’s nothing gayer than a male causing a penis to ejaculate, whether or not it’s his own. We will put an end to this horrible and evil travesty once and for all, just as Jesus would want it.”

Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of ‘Stop Masturbation Now’ said he is excited about the chance to help gay children in Virginia. “Homosexuality and masturbation is a gateway drug to rape,” Childs told reporters. “It leads to sexual dysfunction, erodes family values, and is a top ten cause of disease,” Childs said. “God willing, one day homosexuality and masturbation will be illegal.”

The organization ‘People Can Change’ is located in Ruckersville, Virginia. The group has gay-to-straight conversion facilities all around the country and has been in operation since May of 2000. ‘People Can Change’ can be contacted at 1-434-227-9346 or by email at [email protected].

National Report attempted to contact the Superintendent of Public Instruction for comment but as of press time had received no response.

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Joe Arpaio Implements New Inmate Pharmacy Work Program Filling Prescription Drugs For AZ Residents

Joe Arpaio explaining the new inmate Pharmacy work program that begins September 1st.

Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio seen here explaining the new inmate pharmacy work program to reporters.

Phoenix, AZ — Sheriff Joe Arpaio held a press conference today to announce a new controversial inmate work program that will take effect September 1st. The program allows inmates to fill prescription drugs for Arizona residents and in return will receive lesser prison sentences.

Arpaio told CNN about the benefits of the new program. “This is a genuine, progressive advance in corrections and rehabilitation. Our inmates, properly supervised, will be put to work outside these walls performing all manner of public service. These men and women can learn the value of an honest day’s labor while providing a valuable service to the community — and at a bare minimum of expense to Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Taxpayer!”

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer applauded Arpaio’s new program. “Inmates working in supervised jail pharmacies and filling these prescriptions is a great idea,” Brewer said. “This pharmacy work program will save the residents of Arizona millions of dollars a year. More importantly it will provide the inmates a feeling of self-worth along with providing them a great set of job skills when they are released.”

The inmate pharmacies will be located about a mile north of Arpaio’s current Tent City Jail at 2939 W. Durango Street in Phoenix. The prescriptions that the inmates will be filling for Arizona residents include everything from drugs such as Xanax to Oxycontin. Arpaio told reporters that for every ten hours a prisoner works in the pharmacy program they will receive one less day on their prison sentence. He also explained that no violent offenders or criminals with current drug charges will have the ability to work in these new inmate pharmacies. For more information you can contact the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office directly at (602) 876-1801.‎

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Governor Jan Brewer Threatens Lawsuit Against Hoax Author Who Claimed She Supports Mandatory Gay Conversion Classes For Children

Jan Brewer from Arizona speaking about her new gay to straight conversion program which will be implemented in all public school in Arizona.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is threatening a lawsuit against the culprit behind the hoax yesterday which had the internet up in arms.

Phoenix, AZ — Governor Jan Brewer’s spokesman Andrew Wilder held a press conference this morning with reporters announcing news of a possible lawsuit against Phoenix, Arizona resident 34-year-old Paul Horner. Horner was the culprit behind yesterday’s hoax which had the internet up in arms. The satirical article stated that Brewer signed off on a bill implementing a mandatory school program designed for all Arizona children grades K-12 requiring all homosexual males and females to become straight.

Brewer’s office did not see the humor in such a stunt, and denounced the suggestion that the governor would target young people with such a discriminatory program: “It’s a completely phony and vile report, and its authors should be ashamed,” Wilder told the Arizona Republic yesterday.

“This lawsuit is real and is nothing to be taken lightly,” Wilder told CNN. “If the author of the article in question wants to avoid legal action, we are asking him to immediately remove the story from National Report and cease and desist any further foolishness of this nature against the governor.” Wilder continued, “Governor Brewer also expects a full and sincere apology, no less than 1,000 words long. This is to help compensate the harm and mayhem his ridiculous article caused the great state of Arizona and to the Governor’s Office. Mr. Horner can either post a public apology on his Super Official News website, National Report, his Facebook page located at facebook.com/paulissuperawesome or contact the governor directly at [email protected].”

These are tweets recently posted by the three parties involved in response to the fake article posted by Mr. Horner yesterday

Governor Jan Brewer tweet about Paul Horner and hoax article

People Can Change tweet about hoax article and Paul Horner

Joe Arpaio tweet about Paul Horner and hoax article about Jan Brewer

Related: Video denouncing fake story about gay student conversion program in Arizona which aired last night on Fox News, watch here.

To read Horner’s satirical article that is making such waves in the Governor’s Office and around the web, you can view it here.

Gay-To-Straight Program To Be Used In All Arizona Public School Curriculums Beginning November 1st

Jan Brewer from Arizona speaking about her new gay to straight conversion program which will be implemented in all public school in Arizona.

Governor Jan Brewer from Arizona held a press conference today to speak about her new gay-to-straight conversion program which will be implemented in all Arizona public schools beginning November 1st.

Phoenix, AZ — Beginning November 1st of this year, the state of Arizona is implementing a mandatory school program designed for all children grades K-12 to help homosexual males and women become straight. The controversial conversion therapy will be used in all of Arizona’s 2,325 public school curriculums and is already gathering a large amount of criticism as well as those who approve of the new program.

Paul Horner who is the brain child behind People Can Change spoke with Fox News about their plan to help all the gay children of Arizona. “Since 2000 ‘People Can Change’ has been helping thousands of children resolve their unwanted same-sex attractions. We bring the gay demons out of these individuals so they can become who god intended them to be. Our success and track record speaks for itself,” Horner said. “Facing the reality that you have unwanted homosexual feelings can cause tremendous turmoil – especially as a child whose feelings conflict with deeply held values, beliefs and life goals. But there is a way out. A path that leads them to resolve rather than fight their homosexual feelings. A path to authentic brotherhood and to our innate heterosexual masculinity.”

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer who signed off on the the ‘People Can Change’ program told CNN she is excited about the program. “I think this will be an amazing opportunity for gay children to finally learn who they truly are for once in their lives,” Brewer said. “Can you imagine how much more productive these ‘now-straight’ children will be not always being bullied or wondering why god made them defective? What we have done here today is monumental. I can only hope and pray that other states follow suit.”


Sheriff Joe Arpaio who runs some of the toughest jails and prisons in the country applauds Brewer’s decision. “Less gays in our jails makes for a smoother running prison system. There will be no more prancing around, along with all the other gay activities that homosexuals like to do,” Arpaio said. “More importantly, we as parents can now sleep a little better at night just knowing there will be less gays out there wandering the streets trying to molest our children. I’m excited about this and I know all Arizonans are too.”

Though not everyone from Arizona feels the same way as Brewer and Arpaio. 32-year-old Katherine Morris from Phoenix whose son Daniel is a 12-year-old homosexual said she does not agree with the program. “My son Daniel is one of the nicest boys in the world. He is the most wonderful and loving child you could ever meet in your life. There’s not a problem with him, there is a problem with this conversion therapy,” Morris said. “I urge all Arizonians to fight back before this curriculum takes effect in November. Call your congressman. Call your senator. We still have time to fix this wrong. Tell them we do not want ‘People Can Change’ in our schools! It’s not only a waste of tax payer money but it is fixing something that is not broken.”

The organization ‘People Can Change’ is located in Ruckersville, Virginia and has hundreds of gay-to-straight camps and therapy conversion facilities all around the country. They have been in operation since May of 2000. ‘People Can Change’ can be contacted at 434-985-8551 or by email at [email protected].

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Al Sharpton Outraged About New Online “Slavery” Website

Jerome Smith, Chairman & CEO of Black Friend Connect, Inc.

Jerome Smith, Chairman & CEO of Black Friend Connect, Inc.

Washington, DC — It seems you can find just about every type of website and service out there these days; this is probably one you have never heard of or seen before. It is called ‘Black Friend Connect’. Their business model revolves around the idea of a white person “renting” a black friend and while the company is gaining in popularity, it has a lot of people outraged, including the Reverend Al Sharpton.

“This company is ridiculous! They are just some racist group trying to make a quick buck. It’s vile, full of hate and disgusting,” Sharpton told reporters. “Black Friend Connect is the new form of slavery. Why don’t they just have the negro come out to their plantation and pick cotton?”

Jerome Smith, Chairman and CEO of Black Friend Connect, Inc. defends his company and told reporters it is great way for white people to find a new black friend. “Every white person needs a black friend. Whether it is fist bumping you in front of your white co-workers or being the black friend you introduce to all your white friends at a party, Black Friend Connect will fulfill all of your black friend needs,” Smith said. “Bottom line is, Black Friend Connect will help prove to your white friends that you are not a racist along with providing you a new and interesting friend.”


52-year-old Mavis Downton told CNN that she does not agree with Black Friend Connect. “I have black friends, and I certainly would not ‘rent’ a friend of any description. If you have to pay for it, they are not your friend.”

Smith told reporters that they are helping both white people and black people with his company. “We provide well-paying jobs for African Americans and friends for white people who would normally not have a black friend. It’s a win-win situation.”

“What Black Friend Connect has just done is revoke the dreams and ideas of Dr. Martin Luther King. They are setting this country back 200 years,” Sharpton said. “It just makes me sick and action must be taken to shut down Black Friend Connect as soon as possible!”

To find your very own black friend you can contact Black Friend Connect online at BlackFriendConnect.com, or by phone at 480.286.9861.

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